Carly Findlay Puns

https://twitter.com/darrenheitner/status/1445488225590542343?s=21

Just a warning for those who have cars in Findlay Creek and surrounding areas! A family members new Lexus was stolen last night from their driveway at 1:30am. They were able to track the car to the port of Montreal on an app. They were caught on camera, but the car is likely not to be recovered.

If you have a newer car make sure to take precautions as it could be you next! Make sure to store your key fob in a secure place away from your car or in a metallic box. You can also club your steering wheel if need be!

I hope no one else’s car got stolen overnight!

Update: The car has been recovered by the police in Montreal where the app said the car was parked! Looks like the thieves used electronic means to bypass the ignition system!

Does anyone remember when a car crashed into Fort Findlay and destroyed a couple of their large windows and they had it all boarded up for awhile? I can't seem to find any info or pictures about this anywhere!

I know this was a long time ago and might be a stretch but here goes nothing.

Hey everyone!

As the title suggests, I’m a college kid who comes from Alaska. That being said, I don’t know many people to ask.

I’m not looking really to spend anything more than $1,600 personally, I’m fine with a beater as long as it’ll last. I currently drive a manual 1997 Chevy S10 at home so no preference for manual or automatic.

I’m also checking craigslist and other sights as well, I fly back the 28th of this month so I may as well try my luck here as well!

Please DM me if you have a potential offer or can redirect me to someone who might :)

Thanks again guys!

Ps: I’m not the richest kid out there but I’m relatively flexible on price, I plan on staying in Ohio next year to potentially land an internship (Computer Science major) so I’d prefer a vehicle that didn’t break down after half a year lol

https://www.youtube.com/post/UgwLCJtx0qcZqPaOfZN4AaABCQ

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hi guys. I’m writing this to bring attention to how Keenan Cornelius basically just skipped his obligations of teaching two seminars this weekend in the Midwest. My academy and a partner of mine had booked Keenan months out and the day before the seminar he backed out. I’ll include a link to our academies response, but will also be posting it in here as well:

(From Findlay Jiu-Jitsu Academy IG): Keenan Seminar Cancelled

Hi guys, both Amy and I (as well as Todd and Lindsey from Monroe Jiu-Jitsu) regret to inform everyone that both the Saturday and Sunday Keenan Cornelius seminars are cancelled. I won’t try and be nice about this as Keenan just completely flaked on his obligations. Keenan first said that his car broke down in California and that he missed his morning flight. Monroe JJ offered to pay for an afternoon or late afternoon flight into Detroit which he refused and simply just asked to cancel the seminar because it was an inconvenience.

I personally was frustrated with the situation and reached out to both him and his assistant as they were not communicating with us and were not answering our phone calls. Two hours later Keenan text back basically saying sorry and that he couldn’t make it and he would issue refunds. Even after this I sent him a message saying that he could make things right by hopping on a later flight and Monroe JJ was willing to push the start time back to accommodate him. He refused.

Normally, as a business, we might try and be neutral to something like this happening, but I cannot personally excuse this type of unprofessionalism. I’m sincerely sorry to anyone who planned their weekend and was excited to learn from Keenan, as he is a wonderful BJJ instructor and practitioner. With that said, Todd and Lindsey from Monroe JJ were bending over backwards to try and make things work for Keenan to come teach at our academies.

Todd and I have both decided that we want to make the best out of a bad situation that is out of our control… Tomorrow I will be teaching a lapel guard seminar at Monroe JJ from 12:00-2:00 that is FREE OF CHARGE! On Sunday Todd will be teaching at our academy from 12:00-2:00 as well! On top of that, Monroe JJ is offering a 50% discount for next month’s JT Torres seminar!

Both of our academies are sincerely sorry for the letdown but want to make the most out of the weekend and the future by bringing professionalism, honesty, and the best Jiu-Jitsu we can offer our students and communities.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

A play on words.

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Cover by: RadRad - https://www.instagram.com/radrad

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Stream or DL: https://www.theindierockplaylist.com
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1. (00:04:44) The Districts – And the Horses All Go Swimming
2. (00:03:31) Fur – Anybody Else But Me
3. (00:03:52) Everything Everything – Arch Enemy
4. (00:04:12) The Flaming Lips – Assassins of Youth
5. (00:04:12) Strangejuice – Astronauts
6. (00:03:17) Declan McKenna – Beautiful Faces
7. (00:04:09) Placebo – Beautiful James
8. (00:04:05) Dan Deacon – Become a Mountain
9. (00:04:05) Manchester Orchestra – Bed Head
10. (00:03:43) Hovvdy – Blindsided
11. (00:03:14) the Beaches – Blow Up
12. (00:04:17) Public Service Broadcasting – Blue Heaven
13. (00:03:29) Another Sky – Brave Face
14. (00:02:56) CARO – Cat’s Pyjamas
15. (00:03:17) Wet Leg – Chaise Longue
16. (00:03:04) Toledo – Challenger
17. (00:03:37) Black Country, New Road – Chaos Space Marine
18. (00:05:16) Ball Park Music – Cherub
19. (00:03:38) Melt Yourself Down – Crocodile
20. (00:03:43) Band of Horses – Crutch
21. (00:04:21) Car Seat Headrest – Deadlines (Hostile)
22. (00:03:54) Grouplove – Deleter
23. (00:03:43) Fellow Hollow – Dog fence weeds
24. (00:03:57) Obscura Hail – Doomer
25. (00:03:23) Glass Animals – Dreamland
26. (00:03:49) Moaning – Ego
27. (00:02:46) The Clockworks – Enough is Never Enough
28. (00:03:45) Lost Horizons – Every Beat That Passed (feat. Kavi Kwai)
29. (00:02:47) Mellah – Family Fun
30. (00:03:30) Pushpin – Folds
31. (00:02:37) Tribe Friday – Forward is the Way Out
32. (00:02:24) NOT A BOYS NAME – Fuck It Up (feat. Bec Sandridge)
33. (00:02:22) The Happy Fits – Go Dumb
34. (00:02:44) Fishboy – Greatness Waitress
35. (00:03:18) Born Ruffians – Happy Parasites
36. (00:02:58) Hobsons Bay Coast Guard – Heaven
37. (00:02:55) Sports Team – Here’s The Thing
38. (00:02:42) Walt Disco – Hey Boy (You’re One of Us)
39. (00:03:00) Wallice – Hey Michael
40. (00:04:52) Fruit Bats – Holy Rose
41. (00:03:18) TORRES – Hug From a Dinosaur
42. (00:02:55) Blood Red Shoes & PROJECTOR – I Just

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!