Man who runs in front of car gets tired.

Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RemnantReturning
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2022
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What happened to the sleepy man who was hit by a car?

He was tired.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbot1997
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2022
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A man was hit by a car rental

He said it hurtz

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Starfreak900
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2022
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A man was driving down a road in Texas when he lost control of his car, and plowed through a field of cattle.

The police report listed the cause of his accident as β€œOversteer”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbrahamLingam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2022
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Why did the man drive his car into the lake?

He was told to dip his headlights.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scotsgit73
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2022
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Seeing a car driving in the wrong direction, a man helpfully calls out, "Hey - it's one way!"

"Don't worry.." the driver cheerfully called back, "... I'm only going one way!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uglypaperhaver
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2022
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a man in a car dealership pointed to a car and said "cargo space?"

The dealer replied - "no, car go road"

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2022
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A man was washing his car with his son

The son said, "Dad! Can't you just use a sponge?"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ojasj2007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2022
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A man got hit by a car and felt tired. A few months later he got hit by the same car again.

He ended up retired.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EEZAK04
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2022
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A man drove his expensive car into a tree

and found out how a Mercedes bends.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeathwaiter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2022
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A man got hit by a car and got admitted to a hospital. While admitted, he was told to wait for his report

He replied "Don't worry, I am patient ".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiveEatSleep123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2022
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How do you tell Spider-man to put the car in the garage?

Peter, park her!

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theotherheron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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A man runs over his neighbor with his electric car

When the police took them both down to the station, they charged the man with assault and his car with a battery.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M4xM9450
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2021
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What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuruWitch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2021
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An outdoor neighborhood cat was hiding in some bushes while I was hedge trimming. Didn't see him and clipped his tail clean off. I panicked and grabbed the cat and his tail rushing to my car and drove like a mad man to Walmart. The greeter was puzzled and asked why I brought the cat.

"Because you're the largest re-tailer in the world!"

πŸ‘︎ 369
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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A blind man was stopped by police for driving a car

But officer, I just drank 10 beers and I swear I can see perfectly.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverRapid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2021
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A man was driving down the road when his car breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before.

The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night; he tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again. The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk.” The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk." The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."

The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks." In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door." The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond. Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is apprehensive; his life's wish is behind that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QualityProof
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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Why doesn’t Spider man have a Spider car?

Because it would drive him up the fucking wall.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marketermatty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
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My Child asked me β€œwhat is a dark joke?” I said to him β€œyou see that man trying to find his car?”

My son looks at me and says, β€œyou know I’m blind right?” Me being me said β€œExactly”

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Yesterday a man drove his car into a barn full of horses.

He’s listed in serious but stable condition.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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What do you call a man who lost his car?

Carlos

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.

It wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeyLord_11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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A man has been stealing police car tires

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ismailumair90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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A man gets into a cab, tapps the driver lightly on the shoulder and the driver runs out of the car screaming bloody murder

After a while, he comes back and says: "I'm sorry, sir. This is my first day as a cab driver. The last 12 years I've driven a hearse..."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgglas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
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A man installed on his car new brakes, bearings, crankshaft, tires and exhaust.

He took a break, he couldn't bear it.. he was cranky, tired and exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakir13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Today I drove to work and because of the chaotic traffic I ran my car into another man's. As he got out of the car I saw he was a gentleman of the smaller persuasion, a dwarf. He said "I'm not happy."

I asked "Which one are you then?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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Why did the man drive his car in the ocean?

He wanted to get some extra bass in the speakers

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimReaperSr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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I got in a car accident with a snow man and wanted to warn oncoming traffic

So I put out some snow cones.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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A man lost his keys in the supermarket, so when he returned to his car, he just rubbed his ass against it

He was wearing khaki trousers

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anassis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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What do you call a man who doesn’t own a car?

A taxi.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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As I turned on the car and put it in reverse, I thought to myself, man....

....this takes me back.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bro_Cha_ChoIF
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Went for a walk with my son and we saw a man on the side of the road yelling and swearing at his car. My son asked me what I thought the problem was...

I told him it was the car berater.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets…

Exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KosherMitch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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A man was washing the car with his son.

The son asked, "why don't you use a sponge instead?"

πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rey_lumen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2021
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Why did a man washed his car with his son?

Because there were no sponge around.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnSimth20210225
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2021
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so my car said hi man!

I replied with hybrid

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Insterquiliniis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2021
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A man is washing his car with his son…

His son asks, β€œCan’t you just use a sponge?”

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoredBanana8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waffel-daddy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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A man is washing his car with his son...

The son asks, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
🚨︎ report
A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks,

"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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Man seen stealing police car wheels.

The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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What do you call a Mexican man who misplaced his car?

Carlos

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndytheMVP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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What do you call a man with a car on his head?

An ambulance! He's got a car on his head!

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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What do you call a Mexican man who lost his car?

Carloss

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jakememer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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A man who runs in front of a car gets tired,

a man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laroel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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A man was washing the car with his son.

The son asked, "why don't you use a sponge instead?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rey_lumen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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A man is washing his car with his son. The son says...

Why can’t you just use a sponge?

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclemerle1775
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatphotoguy89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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