Café Reconcile Puns

Tried to keep this as brief as possible, but not omit any important details. Last week I went for lunch with a couple of friends. It was a lovely Melbourne Summer day so we arrived at the café and put our name down for a table outside, waiting our turn for one [table] to become available. Like us, a couple of other groups who arrived subsequently followed suit. A line was forming for tables, a fairly standard situation during a lunch rush.

I noticed a nicely dressed person approach and ask for a table, the staff were busy, so requested that she wait. The front of house (who was allocating the tables) wasn't inconspicuous, this girl made a faint attempt to speak to them, but as she noticed a table became available, she went and sat down (skipping the line so to speak). I noticed a gentleman on the table next to her communicate with her, so I assumed they knew each other (hence why she sat there). But the next 10-15 mins of dialogue was something I had never seen/experienced before in my life.

Being next in line, we were informed that the newly vacated table was in fact ours, and we'd be able to have it once cleaned. The staff cleaned the table, put a reserved sign on it (for us), and gently explained to the girl who had sat down, that the table was for our group. But she refused to move. Her rationale was that "ohh I was told I will be able to sit down when a table is ready". The next 10 mins was followed by a few people (including us) trying to explain to her that she had jumped the line, and in fact, she was sitting on our table. We were all told that we could sit down when a table is ready, but there is a line. Turns out, the gentleman who spoke to her as she sat down, wasn't a friend, and was also informing her that she needed to put her name down for a table......

She still refused to move! Her rationale was the same "oh nobody told me"..... Yeah mate, nobody told you that you could sit down either! I couldn't believe the entitlement on display here, and I was trying to reconcile in my head the series of events that would make someone think this behaviour is appropriate. I kept thinking to myself, fair enough, people make mistakes, maybe she didn't realise there was a line, but if someone pointed out that this was the case, wouldn't any functioning person acknowledge the error and wait their turn in line? Nobody was telling her to go to the back of the line, everyone was just explaining that she needs to wait her turn.

Eventually, it took anot

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

I am a 19-year-old man. I have an older brother. He is 22, and he introduced me to Arcane. I have never felt as much from any piece of art, media, or literature as I have felt from watching this show. It has been 5 days since I finished my first viewing, and I still can’t stop thinking about it. I have watched it a second time now and have cried many times, both from watching and thinking about it. I feel distracted, deeply saddened, and a little dazed. In a lot of ways, I wish I hadn’t seen Arcane at all, and this is my attempt at reaching some closure. (Also, be prepared for some very bad writing, as I’m writing this stream-of-consciousness style and have no intention to proof read or organize).

From the very start of Arcane, I related the most to Powder. This was partially because it was Thanksgiving and I was watching the show with my older brother, who I hadn’t seen in about four months. Naturally, then, seeing two sisters, I identified with the younger one. When Powder messed up their raid in Piltover (and was subsequently chastised for her inadequacy), it reminded me of playing games in the backyard with a pair of brothers, who’s parents were friends of ours. I always teamed up with the oldest of the brothers (who was in high school when I was in elementary school), as I was the youngest and thus physically inferior. Powder’s fear that she is inadequate mirrors a long-time source of anxiety for me. While in high school, my brother got a perfect score on the ACT and every AP test he took, achieved all As in the hardest classes available, secured two summer research internships, was the star of the school play, attended every state championship swim meet, got admitted to governor’s school, and was offered multiple full-ride scholarships to college. When I got to high school, it was extremely important to me that I have the same success, both to not let my parents down and to show that I was his equal. As such, I did every single thing that my brother did: the same internships, the same classes, the same grades, the same governor’s school, the same test scores (with the exception of the ACT—I was one point away there). I also made it to every state swim meet and was the star of the school play. In the end, I was offered a full ride to the school I am now attending, but—at the time—it seemed like the world would end if I failed, and my motivations were probably unhealthy. This feeling of inadequacy, again, reinforced my identification with Powder.

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Edit: It has been found, see goblin_loot's comment

So It's been a while and I think the reason I'm not able to find it is that I'm remembering the middle part which isn't hitting search results.

I remember a guy (main character) who is studying at this art academy that his older sister is paying for. he has a romantic interest with this blonde girl, but that happens later on. around the middle, there was this blackmail arc with this redhead girl but her and the main character ultimately reconciled. the redhead and blonde were also long term friends. most scenes happen at the art academy or a convenience store/café (cant remember which). I remember it having over 100 pages/chapters if that helps at all

Any help or suggestions on how to search is greatly appreatiated.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

When I got home, they were still there.