By Myself Puns

but since the 80s, I've only gone to the movies alone.

One can say that I am 'self-maid'

“How?” I asked.

He said “Brace yourself.”

It's pretty kinky

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

Even though the box said 4-5 years.

It's made me realise that I'm not a great writer.

It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'...

"Where the fuck is my roof?"

It was counterproductive

It was D-grading.

So I guess I'm PROVOLONE

Anything to pass the time.

I tell you, it was a narrow escape.

I was feeling quite kneady

Amateur punner here! Unfortunately, my friends aren't fans... But I was a bit too chuffed to keep it to myself.

Here's the country pun chain we were commenting on.

My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.

Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?

I was just listening to 2 Minutes to Midnight, then I looked at the time and said, "It's actually 24 minutes to midnight!"

I think I covered my tracks.