My Dad works for a welding supplier, so heres his welding dad joke

A guy was cutting with an acetylene torch when suddenly there is a break in the line. The acetelyne starts shooting up his arm and a stray spark ignites it. His arm bursts into flame. He starts running around the shop waving his arm around while it's on fire until someone hits him with the fire extinguisher.

After the fire is out and the EMT's arrive, the police are there taking statements from the witnesses. When the officer finishes this, he pulls out his handcuffs, goes over to the burned guy on the ground, pushes the EMT out of the way, and arrests the burned guy.

When he brings the guy to the station, the chief asks him why he arrested this guy when he clearly needs medical attention. The officer responded by saying "He was waving a firearm in public"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The_Better_Devil
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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The news was showing a series of major fires all within close proximity to each other...

... my fiancรฉe said "It's probably arson." I retort with "Our son would never do that!"

Its a wonder she's marrying me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/She_Likes_Cloth
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
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Playing with fire in my Chemistry lab class

In our groups, we were assigned to burn certain mystery elements, and figure out which element they were based on the color of the flame. When we were done, I told my group that we had just become Fire Distinguishers.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Duke_Platinum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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For years my uncle would greet me with this same joke whenever he saw me:

Q: You know what burns my ass?

Me: what, dear uncle?

A: a flame about this high (holds hand parallel to the ground at ass-level).

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Iamthe0newhoknocks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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Friends dad just said this

You know what burns my butt?

What?

brings hand to waist

A flame about this high

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bennythomson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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