Brother, Sister Puns

While the sister was working the brother was walking around doing nothing

5 minutes pass

B: Ow S: You alright B: Yeah, just bumped into the table S: Where does it hurt B: Mitosis

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

Yeah, they’re a real pair o’ docs.

They saw people in half all the time.

An incestment

she’s abroad.

“SIX Pence? Nun the richer.”

My sister asked if we ever had shepherd's pie. I told her, "No, but every so often I cook 'matterdaddy.'" She walks off while shaking her head.

My brother doesn't get it and asks, "Matterdaddy? Matterdaddy? What the heck is a matterdaddy?"

I immediately respond with "Nothing. What's a matter with you?"

He groaned loudly and my sister just responds with "You're such a sucker for falling for that."

Brother in law, "you know our twins have already said their first words?" Sister, "Oh?" Brother in law: "Yeah... we're hungry, fetus!"

... I think there was even groaning in the uterus...

Brother to his wife: "Colleen" just called, Sister in law: "What was she Colleen for?"

Laughter ensued.

My sister: We were out of brown sugar so I used sugar and molasses. Brother-in-law: How did the moles feel about that?

He then proceeded to laugh like a maniac when I groaned loudly.

Sister: "I'm really thinking of a shih tzu."

Brother-in-law: "I don't know, I think it's a pretty good zoo."

"Your aunt graduated Magna Cum Laude, your uncle graduated Summa Cum Laude, and I graduated Thank You Laudy"