You shouldn't iron your four leaf clover

Don't want to press your luck

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📅︎ Jan 22 2018
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I'm thinking of getting into elk taxidermy

I hear it's how you make the big bucks

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👤︎ u/ch3000
📅︎ Feb 25 2018
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For the birds

True story:

Took my stepdad to dinner at Cracker Barrel with my mom and gf on Father's Day. There was an advertisement on our table for a birdbath they were selling in the store part of the restaurant.

Mom (seeing that it was $49.95): "I wonder how big that birdbath is?"

Gf: "I think it's about this big" (holds arms in a circle indicating about 18 inches around)

Mom: "That's actually not a bad deal"

Stepdad: "Well, yeah, but where are the birds gonna get fifty bucks?"

o.o

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📅︎ Jun 21 2016
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My boss laid this on me today

Him: "I just knocked out two birds with one stone, that's why I'm in management"

Me: 'That's why they pay you the big bucks'

Him: "No they're just regular dollars"

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👤︎ u/pwines14
📅︎ Jun 28 2015
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