Berl Katznelson Puns

The Jewish Peoples Council gather at the Tel Aviv Museum to hear David Ben Gurion read the Declaration of Independence.

ERETZ-ISRAEL (the Land of Israel) was the birthplace of the Jewish people. Here their spiritual, religious and political identity was shaped. Here they first attained to statehood, created cultural values of national and universal significance and gave to the world the eternal Book of Books.

After being forcibly exiled from their land, the people kept faith with it throughout their Dispersion and never ceased to pray and hope for their return to it and for the restoration in it of their political freedom.

Impelled by this historic and traditional attachment, Jews strove in every successive generation to re-establish themselves in their ancient homeland. In recent decades they returned in their masses. Pioneers, ma'pilim (immigrants coming to Eretz-Israel in defiance of restrictive legislation) and defenders, they made deserts bloom, revived the Hebrew language, built villages and towns, and created a thriving community controlling its own economy and culture, loving peace but knowing how to defend itself, bringing the blessings of progress to all the country's inhabitants, and aspiring towards independent nationhood.

In the year 5657 (1897), at the summons of the spiritual father of the Jewish State, Theodore Herzl, the First Zionist Congress convened and proclaimed the right of the Jewish people to national rebirth in its own country.

This right was recognized in the Balfour Declaration of the 2nd November, 1917, and re-affirmed in the Mandate of the League of Nations which, in particular, gave international sanction to the historic connection between the Jewish people and Eretz-Israel and to the right of the Jewish people to rebuild its National Home.

The catastrophe which recently befell the Jewish people — the massacre of millions of Jews in Europe — was another clear demonstration of the urgency of solving the problem of its homelessness by re-establishing in Eretz-Israel the Jewish State, which would open the gates of the homeland wide to every Jew and confer upon the Jewish people the status of a fully privileged member of the community of nations.

Survivors of the Nazi holocaust in Europe, as well as Jews from other parts of the world, continued to migrate to Eretz-Israel, undaunted by difficulties, restrictions and dangers, and never ceased to assert their right to a life of dignity, freedom and honest toil in their natio

This sub is a Labor of Love for me, so I'll try and explain how I am connected to a Zionist leftism.

My father is a Rabbi. He was born to a very traditional religious Teimani family, although my grandparents must have done something very wrong (or very right) to have a daughter who is a hardcode feminist and a Kibbutznik, a son who is socialist, and another who became a Reform Rabbi (my father). I grew up in a sort of socialist, sort of traditional, sort of religious home.

Those separate identities interacted with each other within me like my family acts at Sabbath dinner. They fight, they curse, they tear at each other, and then sit down for a quite meal and rejoice.

At any rate, Judaism, as a culture, as a religion, has informed many, if not all of my political leanings. A sense of Jewish peoplehood is what makes me a Zionist, makes me a leftist, connects me to this land of my fathers and Zionist pioneers. And nothing feels quite so "Jewish connection to the land of Zion" as harvest festivals.

And whenever I think of Sukkot, I think of an old line from Benjamin Disraeli's Tancred

>The vineyards of Israel have ceased to exist, but the eternal law enjoins the children of Israel still to celebrate the vintage. A race that persist in celebrating their vintage, although they have no fruits to gather, will regain their vineyards.

To me, this approach has remained the essence of Zionism. Not just the stories of old, but the creation of new, existing together. Jewish memory and Jewish pioneering spirit, creating and sustaining the last Jewish hope.

Sukkot has always been a festival of hope and labor. Collecting fruits of the harvest, and praying for rain. Remembering G*d and remembering the strangers in our midst. But how that hope and labor is expressed is changing, or rather, it has changed. It was once agricultural booths that showcased the harvest. It was once a pilgrimage.

It was then a return to Zion, to reap of fruits of our labor on the land. It was the clearing of swamps and the blooming of deserts. It was HaShomer and it was Hovevei Zion. It was the dismantling of the idea that land of Zion was dead. No lands are dead, not as long as there are people willing to work at it. The Zionist nation would not be created by cheap exploited labor. It would not be created by armchair philosophy. It would be created by Jewish Labor.

It's probably why I can't find myself represented in the r/antiwork kind of leftism. While there is som

1. If your ancestors immigrated to the US from Russia or Poland, their is a Yizkor book that likely has stories about them personally, and stories about the “shtetl” they came from. There are photographs of their shtetl from 1900-1950.

My father came from Vladimirets. You can read about him here.

I just discovered Sefer Vladimerits at Vladimerits.org is gone.

I will see if I can find it in the Internet archives. This is a tragedy.

www.kehilalinks.jewishgen.org/volodymyrets/

https://kehilalinks.jewishgen.org/volodymyrets/Docs/Vladimirets%20Jewish%20History.pdf

There may be a similar Yizkor Book for your parents.

Eliezer Shostak, also came from Vladimirets. He was a long time member of the Israeli Knesset and who later became Israel’s Health Minister.

2. My father was a very active member of ZOA. He was the VP of Michigan ZOA, and treasurer of the Detroit ZOA.

3. My father was one of 40 members of the “The Sonneborn Group,” “The Sonneborn Institute,” “Materials for Palestine.”

These 40 Jews violated the US Neutrality Act to arm the Jews in Yishuv with military aircraft, artillery, machines guns, explosives and naval warships. This prevented a second Holocaust and enabled them to win their 1948 War of Independence.

Some not only contributed money and arms, they helped Ben Gurion and the Haganah smuggle the arms into Israel, which at the time was a capital offense.

The true story is fascinating.

The Sonneborn Group worked with Ben Gurion and the Haganah whose headquarters was on the 13th floor of Hotel Fourteen located at 14 E. 60th St. between 5th Ave and Madison Ave, a few blocks away from Trump Towers.

The hotel was owned by Fannie and Ruby Barnett. Fannie was Chaim Weizmann’s secretary and a Haganah operative.

The famous Copacabana was in the basement where Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin entertained.

4. My father with the help of Mordechai Peretzki helped establish the first 40 religious kibbutzim in Israel.

5. My father with the help of Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Shragai founded the first Jewish religious party in Israel, Hapoel HaMizrachi which became Likud, and now the party Netanyahu.

6. My father helped rescue millions of Jewish refugees stranded in Europe. They were called DPs or “Displaced Persons.”

7. The true story of Israel’s creation is told in just few books that few people have read. It is truly wild, exciting story with a cast of many famous people, many outlandish characters, Counts, and mobsters.

The complete story

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

The doctor says it terminal.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.