One of my favorite quotes ever. I think of this quote so often and this has actually helped me in a lot of situations.

Specially in my dating life, when I don't have the courage to ask someone out, I just tell my self to be brave for just 20 seconds, and this has helped me to actually go talk to them and ask them out.

Competition: Premier League, Matchday 23

Venue: Emirates Stadium

Kickoff: Sunday 23-January-2022 2:00pm GMT | Time Zone converter

Referee: David Coote. Assistants: Gary Beswick, Nick Hopton. Fourth official: Robert Jones. VAR: Chris Kavanagh. Assistant VAR: Sian Massey-Ellis.

Team News

Xhaka and Partey serving red card suspensions. Pepe and Elneny away at AFCON. Aubameyang injured. Leno, Chambers and Cedric injury doubts.

Barnes serving red card suspension. Cornet away at AFCON. Collins a doubt due to Covid. Taylor and Roberts injury doubts.

Website for Premier League injury news.

Preview Links

arsenal.com

burnleyfootballclub.com

premierleague.com

Line-up and predictions poll results.

Line-ups

Managers: Mikel Arteta (Arsenal), Sean Dyche (Burnley)

Arsenal line-up:

           Lacazette
  Martinelli, Smith Rowe, Saka
       Odegaard, Lokonga
Tierney, Gabriel, Holding, White
            Ramsdale

Burnley line-up:

         Rodriguez, Vydra
McNeil, Brownhill, Westwood, Lennon
 Pieters, Mee, Tarkowski, Roberts
               Pope

Ticket sales/giveaways

This is a direct list of users looking to sell and/or giveaway tickets for the match. You can contact the listed users either by messaging them directly, leaving a comment tagging their username, or replying to them if they have already left a comment of their own.

If you wish to have your name and ticket listing added, best way is to directly message my account, u/BenjaminDaaly21, or leave a comment (messaging would be preferable though). Given I am not awake 24/7 I may not get to your message right away.

Of course make sure that you're careful when exchanging tickets with people online. Most people will be genuine but the occasional account may be dodgy/trying to scam you.

Current listings:

- u/edible_code, 1 free ticket to give away.

Current requests:

- u/slo_mo_afro

Weekly Wildcard League Report - GW22
Entries remain open, join code: ia6xvr

The weekly wildcard league is a league with unlimited free-transfers trying to nail the dream team each week - see the joining details below.

This week in the r/fantasypl Weekly Wildcard League the Team Of The Week was 'Oops, I did it again' managed by 'samson haveland' with a GW score of '103'

Top scouts this GW - top 25

I saw an online article about the most popular baby names of 2020 in the city of Utrecht, The Netherlands, and I thought you might like it!

Utrecht is a fairly 'young' and progressive city, so I think these names are a bit ahead of the curve within the Netherlands. There seems to be a lot of overlap with popular American names.

Girls:

Noor (27)

Sara (22)

Julia (20)

Mila (17)

Olivia (17)

Ella (16)

Nina (16)

Anna (15)

Cato (15)

Hannah (15)

Lauren (15)

Nora (15)

Boys:

Noah (29)

Hugo (23)

Otis (22)

Sam (22)

Adam (20)

Mees (20)

Daan (19)

Benjamin (18)

Lucas (18)

Mohammed (18)

Personally, I'm mostly surprised by Ella, Lauren and Otis. I've never met anyone with those names, don't personally know of any baby named those names, and my only association with Otis is the main character in Sex Education.

I'm wondering about how to pronounce Lauren! To me, it seems an American name, but Laura used to be a very popular name and has distinct Dutch pronunciation.

Also interesting that both Noor and Nora are in the girls' top 10. Both have vastly surpassed the 80s/90s variant 'Noortje'.

I looked up how many babies had been born in Utrecht last year: 4 781. That means that 8 percent of the babies have a top 10 name.

What do you guys think?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

2nd Chronicles
 
>“The Century of Social Unrest (17:1-25:28).
 

>The pivotal era in the history of Yahwism is characterized in Israel by the prophet Elisha’s engineering the overthrow of Omri’s profiteering dynasty. Judah’s painful link with those disorders via its own murderous usurping queen Athaliah could not be overlooked in Chr. [Chronicles] but the origin of all these woes in Judean Jehoshaphat’s alliance with the northern king Ahab is transfigured into a lengthy ‘mystery play’ incorporating an obscure prophet. Surprisingly ignored are Israel’s more momentous earlier prophets or mantic [“ecstatic”]^1 guilds affiliated with Elijah and destined to be transformed into the writing prophets of Judah after 750.” (North, 1990, p. 377)
 

Chapter Seventeen – Kingship of YeHO-ShahPhahT [YHVH is Judge, Jehoshaphat]
 

>“Three of the Judean kings are credited in Kings with outstanding virtue and success – Jehoshaphat, Hezekiah, and Josiah. Naturally the Chronicler used and enlarged all that was said to their credit in Kings, but he added a great deal of fresh material. It is a moot question whether the Chronicler derived this new material to a considerable degree, or to some degree, from an extensive lost source, or whether it sprang solely from his creative imagination as to what ideally should have happened…
 

>It seems that the conjectured large source must have been an edifying work, lacking the comparatively high historical value of canonical Kings. What tells heavily against its existence, and in favor of the Chronicler’s own authorship, is that virtually all the new information is cast in the Chronicler’s distinctive style. To Jehoshaphat the Chronicler (not Kings) attributed two important measures – arrangements to teach the people the rightful manner of worshiping Yahweh, and a new judicial system.” (Elmslie, 1954, pp. III 487-488)
 

-1. And was kinged YeHO-ShahPhahT, his son, beneath him,

and he strengthened upon YeeSRah-’ayL ["Strove God", Israel].
 

>“The kingdoms of Israel and Judah were rivals from the beginning; sometimes one, sometimes the other, prevailed. Asa and Baasha were nearly matched; but after Baasha’s death Israel was greatly weakened by civil contentions, and Jehoshaphat got the ascendancy…” (Clarke, 1831, p. II 556)
 

>“Jehoshaphat means ‘Yahweh judged,’ and it has been plausibly mai

You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

Benjamin Mee, We Bought A Zoo.

I even sent you this quote today. I'm strangling in the tight rope between telling you everything and worrying it'll scare you away. I'm pretty sure you think I'm only coming to you because I need saved.

But I don't. Not anymore. I'm only here for you.

Is it courageous to tell you, or to keep it inside?

Typo in the title! Best****

2nd Chronicles
 

Chapter Fifteen – Restorations of ’ahSah’ [Asa]
 

>“15:1-15. No parallel in Kings. The Chronicler saw an opportunity, perhaps utilizing an old tradition, to introduce two prophets, otherwise unknown, and made Azariah’s prophetic intervention lead to exactly what he wanted to impress on his own contemporaries, viz. [namely], that as a result of Asa’s piety and success Israelites in great numbers came to Jerusalem (vss. [verses] 9-15) to celebrate the thanksgiving for the harvest of corn (feast of Weeks).” (Elmslie, 1954, p. III 483)
 

-1. And 'ahZahR-YahHOo [“Helped YHVH”, Azariah], son of `ODayD [Oded]; there was upon him [the] spirit [of] Gods.

-2. And he went out before ’ahÇah’, and said to him:
 

“Hear me, ’ahÇah’, and all YeHOo-DaH [“YHVH Knew”, Judah] and BeeN-YahMeeN ["Son Right", Benjamin],

YHVH is with you in your being with him,

and if you inquire him [תדרשהו, TheeDReShooHOo], he will be found to you,

and if you abandon him, he will abandon you.”
 

>“In this verse the unconditional perseverance of the saints has no place …” (Clarke, 1831, p. II 553)
 

>“The ‘prophecy’ of Azariah is a masterpiece of historical theology. More factually, ‘God alone rules us’ in the period of the judges (Judg [Judges] 17:6; 21:25) meant unbridled selfishness. Micheel … claims that not only the prophecy but even the name of Azariah is a Chr [Chronicles] invention; though … Micheel more plausibly leaves open the use of some local oral tradition for Eliezer of 2 Chr 20:37.” (North, 1990, p. 377)
 

-3. (And there were days multitudinous to YeeSRah-’ayL ["Strove God", Israel] to no Gods true,

and to no priest teaching [מורה, MOReH],

and to no instruction.

-4. And they returned in distress to him, upon YHVH, Gods of YeeSRah-’ayL,

and they sought him, and he was found to them.

-5. And times the those were without peace to go out and to come,

for disturbances [מהומות, MeHOoMOTh] multitudinous were upon all settlers of the lands.

-6. And they pounded [וכתתו, VeKhooTheThOo], nation in nation and city in city,

for Gods vexed them [הממם, HahMahMahM] in every distress.)
 

>“3-6. A reviser’s parenthesis, wrecking the continuity of vss. 2, 7.” (Elmslie, 1954, p. III 483)
 

-7. “And you, strengthen, and let not weaken your hands,

for th

II Chronicles
 

Chapter Fourteen – Kingship [of] ’ahÇah’ [Asa]
 

Figure 3 Palestine 2 Chronicles Kingdoms of Israel and Judah - The Interpreters' Bible, volume 3 page 470
 

-1. [2. in translations] And did, ’ahÇah’, the good and the upright in [the] eyes of YHVH his Gods.
 

>“He was no idolater; though, morally speaking, he was not exempt from faults, 1 Kings xv. 14. He suppressed idolatry universally, and encouraged the people to worship the true God: see verses 3, 4, 5. [4, 5, 6 in the Hebrew text]” (Clarke, 1831, pp. II 551-552)
 

-2. [3] And he took away [ויסר, VahYahÇahR] [את, ’ehTh (indicator of direct object; no English equivalent)] altars, the alien [הנכר, HahNayKhahR], and the stages,
 

>and he broke [את, ’ehTh] the monuments [המצבות, HahMahTsayBOTh] and cut down [ויגדע, VahYeGahDah`] the ‘ahShayReeYM^1 [“Groves”, Asheʹrim].
 

>“He took away the foreign altars and the high places: This is the Deuteronomic test of a good king, to which Chronicler will add his own – obedience to a prophet (15:1-2, 8). But the author of Kings had already credited both Rehoboam and Abijah with sufficient piety to remove the high places. The Chronicler conveniently ignored the inconsistency, and also suppressed the admission in Kings that Asa’s fathers had allowed temple prostitutes and idols. I Kings 15:9-24 portrays Asa as a very good king …” (Elmslie, 1954, p. III 481)
 

>“Asherim … high places: This negates 15:17 (= 1 Kgs [Kings] 15:14), which states that the high places were not taken away (out of Israel. Asa’s Spartan measures against the offences of his own (grand)mother, Maacah (1 Kgs 15:13) are postponed to 2 Chr [Chronicles] 15:16.” (North, 1990, p. 376)
 

-3. [4] And he said to YeHOo-DaH ["YHVH Knew", Judah] to inquire of [לדרוש, LeeDROSh] [את, ’ehTh] YHVH, Gods of their fathers,

and to do the instruction and the commandment.

-4. [5] And he took away [ויסר, VahYahÇahR] from all [the] cities of YeHOo-DaH [את, (’ehTh] the stages and the sun-pillars [החמנים, HahHahMahNeeYM],

and quietened the kingdom before him.

-5. [6] And he built cities fortified [מצורה, MeTsORaH] in YeHOo-DaH,

for quiet was the land,

and there was not with him war

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

II Chronicles
 

Chapter Eleven
 

>“Reign of Rehoboam (10:1-12:16)” (Elmslie, 1954, p. III 474)
 

-1. And came, ReHahB'ahM ["Widened People", Rehoboam] [to] Jerusalem,

and he assembled [את, ’ehTh (indicator of direct object; no English equivalent] House YeHOo-DaH ["YHVH Knew", Judah] and BeeN-YahMeeN [“Son Right (South)],

a hundred and eighty thousand bachelor[s] [בחור, BahHOoR], doer[s] [of] war,

to war with YeeSRah-’ayL ["Strove God", Israel], to return [את, ’ehTh] the kingdom to ReHahB`ahM.
 

-2. And there was a word [of] YHVH unto SheMah`-YahHOo [“Heard YHVH”, Shemaiah], a man [of] the Gods, to say,

-3. “Say unto ReHahB'ahM, son of SheLoMoH ["His Peace", Solomon], king of YeHOo-DaH, and unto all YeeSRah-’ayL in YeHOo-DaH and BeeN-YahMeeN, to say,

-4. ‘Thus said YHVH,

“Do not ascend and do not war with your brethren.

Return [each] man to his house,

for from me will be the word the this.”’”

And they heard [את, ’ehTh] words of YHVH,

and they returned from going unto YahRahB'ahM.  

>“The Chronicler judged that Rehoboam exceeded all bounds when he proposed to attack the apostate brethren, the Israelites. Accordingly, he gladly inserted from I Kings 12:22-24 the tale that a prophet, Shemaiah, forbade, and that the king desisted.” (Elmslie, 1954, p. III 474)
 

>>>……………………………………………………………………………..
 

>>>[The] Fortune of ReHahB`ahM

>>>[verses 5 to end of chapter]
 

-5. And returned ReHahB'ahM in Jerusalem, and he built cities to fortify [למצור, LeMahTsOR] in YeHOo-DaH ["YHVH Knew", Judah].
 

>“Only Chr [Chronicles] preserves this archival detail.” (North, 1990, p. 375)
 

-6. And he built [את, ’ehTh] BaYTh-LehHehM [“House Bread”, Bethlehem], and [את, ’ehTh] 'aYTahM [“Their Bird of Prey”, Etam] and [את, ’ehTh] TheQO'ah [“Trumpet”, Tekoa], 7. And [את, ’ehTh] BaYTh-TsOoR [“House [of] Rock”, Beth-zur] and [את, ’ehTh] SOKhO [“His Branch”, Soco] and [את, ’ehTh] 'ahDooLahM [Adullam], 8. and [את, ’ehTh] GahTh [“Press”, Gath] and [את, ’ehTh] MahRayShaH [“What Wickedness”, Mareshah] and [את, ’ehTh] ZeeYPh [“Forge”, Ziph], 9. And [את, ’ehTh] ’ahDORahYeeM [“Glories”, Adoraim] and [את, ’ehTh] LahKheeYSh [“Whisper”, Lachish] and [את, ’ehTh] `ahZayQaH [“Dig”, Azekah], 10. And [את, ’ehTh] TsahR'aH [“Distressed”, Zorah] and [את,

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

12:30pm

Chelsea 0-1 Man City - FT (Jesus 53')

• Chelsea
  • Mendy, Christensen, Rüdiger, Azpilicueta, Kovacic, Kanté, Jorginho, Alonso, James, Werner, Lukaku.
• Manchester City
  • Ederson, Laporte, Dias, Cancelo, Walker, Rodri, Kevin De Bruyne, Bernardo Silva, Foden, Grealish, Jesus.
• Key Events:
  • 29' Substitution, Chelsea. Thiago Silva replaces Reece James because of an injury.
  • 34' Rodri unleashed a monstrous piledriver. He controlled a pass, glanced up at goal and shot from the edge of the box. It could have been a difficult one for the keeper, but the ball fortunately hit one of the defenders and ball bounced away. It will be a corner kick for Manchester City.
  • 43' Gabriel Jesus threw away a promising scoring opportunity. He received a fine cross inside the 6-yard box, but missed to the left of the target. The ball goes out of play and Chelsea will have a goal kick.
  • 49' Grealish steadies himself on the edge of the box and releases a precise effort on goal that just narrowly sails past the right post. The ball is off of the pitch and it's a goal kick for Chelsea.
  • 53' GOAL! Gabriel Jesus receives the ball inside the box, reacts quickly and without any problems stabs the ball low inside the left post.
  • 58' Nice individual effort by Jack Grealish. He gets all the way through to the keeper and hits a low drive to the bottom right corner, but Mendy does a good job to anticipate the direction of the ball and keeps it out. Manchester City earn a corner.
  • 60' N'Golo Kante will be replaced by Kai Havertz.
  • 62' Gabriel Jesus gets to the rebound and shoots, but the effort is blocked.
  • 63' A goal, which was scored by Lukaku, was disallowed due to offside.
  • 65' This yellow card was deserved. The tackle by Laporte was quite harsh.
  • 71' Kovacic takes a shot from the edge of the box, but it's not a big threat for the goalkeeper as his effort is blocked by a defender. Chelsea force a corner.
  • 76' Substitution. Jorginho makes his way off the pitch and Ruben Loftus-Cheek comes on as his replacement.
  • 77' Yellow card to Alonso for his blatant foul.
  • 78' Christensen is booked after bringing down an opponent.
  • 79' Laporte collects the ball from the free kick and immediately sends his close-range effort narrowly wide of the left post!
  • 81' Substitution. Kevin De Bruyne is replaced by Riyad Mahrez.
  • 84' Grealish takes a great touch after receiving a pass inside the box. He imme

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

aaron abbey abbie abby abdul abe abel abigail abraham abram ada adah adalberto adaline adam adan addie adela adelaida adelaide adele adelia adelina adeline adell adella adelle adena adina adolfo adolph adria adrian adriana adriane adrianna adrianne adrien adriene adrienne afton agatha agnes agnus agripina agueda agustin agustina ahmad ahmed ai aida aide aiko aileen ailene aimee aisha aja akiko akilah al alaina alaine alan alana alane alanna alayna alba albert alberta albertha albertina albertine alberto albina alda alden aldo alease alec alecia aleen aleida aleisha alejandra alejandrina alejandro alena alene alesha aleshia alesia alessandra aleta aletha alethea alethia alex alexa alexander alexandra alexandria alexia alexis alfonso alfonzo alfred alfreda alfredia alfredo ali alia alica alice alicia alida alina aline alisa alise alisha alishia alisia alison alissa alita alix aliza alla allan alleen allegra allen allena allene allie alline allison allyn allyson alma almeda almeta alona alonso alonzo alpha alphonse alphonso alta altagracia altha althea alton alva alvaro alvera alverta alvin alvina alyce alycia alysa alyse alysha alysia alyson alyssa amada amado amal amalia amanda amber amberly ambrose amee amelia america ami amie amiee amina amira ammie amos amparo amy an ana anabel analisa anamaria anastacia anastasia andera anderson andra andre andrea andreas andree andres andrew andria andy anette angel angela angele angelena angeles angelia angelic angelica angelika angelina angeline angelique angelita angella angelo angelyn angie angila angla angle anglea anh anibal anika anisa anisha anissa anita anitra anja anjanette anjelica ann anna annabel annabell annabelle annalee annalisa annamae annamaria annamarie anne anneliese annelle annemarie annett annetta annette annice annie annika annis annita annmarie anthony antione antionette antoine antoinette anton antone antonetta antonette antonia antonietta antonina antonio antony antwan anya apolonia april apryl ara araceli aracelis aracely arcelia archie ardath ardelia ardell ardella ardelle arden ardis ardith aretha argelia argentina ariana ariane arianna arianne arica arie ariel arielle arla arlean arleen arlen arlena arlene arletha arletta arlette arlie arlinda arline arlyne armand armanda armandina armando armida arminda arnetta arnette arnita arnold arnoldo arnulfo aron arron art arthur artie arturo arvilla asa asha ashanti ashely ashlea ashlee ashleigh ashley ashli ashlie ashly ashlyn ashton asia asley a

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments