I know you won't believe me, but its two
My wife didn't believe me when I told her I was going to build a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta
Can't believe my professor failed me in front of the entire class
My wife doesn't believe me that i super glued myself to my pistol.
But I'm sticking to my guns
Please pray for me since I only believe 12.5% of the Bible.
My dad said, “I can’t believe you got me a house for my birthday…..”
“It looks like…..I’m going to live in the present.”
My wife just told me the singer from the Monkees died. I didn't believe her.
I’ve just been to put air in my tyres, couldn’t believe the price, it cost me a full one pound, I remember the days when it was only 20 pence.
That’s inflation for you I guess.
They didn’t believe me when I told them I got my intricate tattoo in Barcelona!
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!
Couldn't believe this taxi driver wouldn't answer me about if he was Spider-Man or not.
He was driving me up the wall.
You don't believe me when I say you're about to get ownership of an entire ocean?
I didn’t believe Nordic walking would help me strengthen and straighten my back.
My dyslexia made me believe I signed up for hockey, with some Pocky served afterward.
But it was actually hokey pokey, so I turned myself around, because that's what it was all about.
So you want to listen to my “Believe” album with me?
People don't believe me when I tell them Trump is the Prime Minister of Canada
To those of you who expect me to believe all women
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve Amber Heard
Edit: Looks like I’m getting downvoted. I really shit the bed on that one
I once had a dog whose tail could almost touch the ceiling. Don't believe me?
Sorry, I'll stop telling tall tails.
I didn't believe my soap when it told me my husband brought a stange lady into the shower.
That's because it was lye soap.
My wife said she’d leave me if I kept quoting Shrek and I didn’t believe her
I’m upset my boss doesn’t believe me that I sent him the email again after he asked me to;
Everybody told me that if my wife got weight loss surgery that she would leave me, but I didn’t believe them.
But now every day I see less and less of her.
I used to just believe whatever conservatives told me to think.
It seemed like the right idea at the time.
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
My sister didnt believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti
I’ve been training my dog to alert me when he smells people who follow a creepy pseudo-religious leader who makes them believe that their salvation lies in giving him money.
I know you won't believe me, but its two
Ancestry.com tried to fool me into believing that I'm Swedish, but I refuse to believe it...
...I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.
Today I insisted that my son had a hole in his shoe. He didn't believe me and kept looking and looking, took it off and inspect it. He yelled "There is no hole in there at all!"
So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"
You might not believe me when I tell you the Canadian Prime Minister's name...
they said he’d be taller than me and i didn’t believe them
but when i saw him, i understood
cant believe they fired me from the clock factory... with all those extra hours I put in...
Can you believe my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo?
I couldn't believe the disrespect. I had to put my foot down.
A woman once told me she didn’t believe in love at first sight
So I told her, “So, do you want me to leave and come back?”
Someone told me "you believe in god? No way!"
People don't believe me when I tell them I died a while ago
There’s one word in the English language you will never find in a dictionary. Don’t believe me? Check it out yourself. It’s...
My sister didn't believe me when I told her I don't know who the Prime Minister of Canada is
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
My friend didn't believe me that Slash was in AC/DC
C'mon he is right there in the middle !
After eating da ship, da sea monster said, Me can’t believe Me ate da hull fing.
I couldn't believe my good fortune when he asked me this.
Him: "Hey, is there a special setting on the toaster for waffles?
Me: "Not really, use the 'Frozen' setting and just let it go."
I told my wife I had built a car out of spaghetti but she didn’t believe me…
People at our Christmas party were impressed when I showed off my incredibly detailed tattoo, but they didn't believe me when I tell them I got it done in Madrid.
Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision.
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain...
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision...
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