More Cemetery jokes needed

Drove past a cemetery today. Kid in back seat, wife in front. I said "Look! people are dying to get in there". Then, " that is the dead centre of town "... & as always " the Council says you cannot be buried there if you live within 5 miles of that cemetery" Wife stated .... " you need new cemetery jokes".

Help!

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Feb 10 2015
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The shop assistant just groaned...

My girlfriend wnted a new watch so we went to the local shopping centre to go to the Fossil shop. It was shut due to a power outage. Go back the next day and they're open; a quick chat with the shop assistant and she says the problem still isn't fixed and they're using generators to try and get through the day.

I couldn't help myself and say "I guess that means you're running on Fossil Fuel then?"

It didn't go down very well.

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👤︎ u/hiro51
📅︎ Jun 12 2014
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got dad joked by a customer tonight

I work at a support centre and a customer asked for my name in case he needed to call back

Me: I'm the only one here

Customer: That's a very unique name, I'm-the-only-one-here

laughs were had

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👤︎ u/abremnes
📅︎ Mar 15 2014
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