Army & Navy Puns

Dad: what's a Pirates favorite crime?

Me: uh ... ?

Dad: ARRRRson! What's a Pirates favorite type of socks?

Me: I don't know dad.

Dad: ARRRRgyle! What's a Pirates favorite branch of the military?

Me: rolling eyes it's the ARRRRmy.

Dad: acting confused No, it's the Navy. Why on earth would they like the army better?

Hopefully not a repost but I very clearly remember getting caught by this one and stuttering with no response.

Two army men are using the bathroom and after wash their hands. A navy man walks in does his business and is begging to leave with out washing his hands, until and army men asks didn’t they teach you wash your hands in the navy. The navy man replied yes but they also taught us not to piss on our hands...

I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss.   I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.

Me: "Apparently the Navy quarterback broke the single season rushing touchdown record for a QB." Dad: "Funny, I thought the army was supposed to be better on the ground." He was far too proud of himself.

"I see the Navy has the advantage over the Army cause they are playing in a field of water in your town. If the field could change to mud the Army might have a chance to come back. Not much time left though. "