Anne Rud Puns

Bhí orm glao a chur ar Revenue chun clárú don LPT. Roghnaigh mé labhairt le duine as gaeilge. Ní raibh mé ag fanacht ach nóimead amhaín. Bhíodar an ghnóthach ag an am am. Dearfainn go mbeinn ag fanacht 20 nóimead chun labhaurt as Béarla. Ansin bhí orm glao a chur ar chúpla oifig eile. Gach uair roghnaigh mé labhairt as gaeilge agus bhíothas ag labhairt laistigh de nóimead nó dhó.

Búntaiste mór é seo do ghaeilgeoirí. An bhfuil aon taithe ag éinne eile le seo?

Ba mhaith liom níos mó Gaeilge a chloisteáil i mo shaol laethúil. An bhfuil a fhios ag aon duine aon podcasts maithe ás Gaeilge?

Aon daoine anso as Corca Dhuibhne? Sin í an bhlás Ghaelaínn athá mise a fhoghlaim. Táim im mhearachaint i gCeanada agus leis sin níl ach duine eile amháin ann lem bhlás fhéin. Tá siúil agam go bhfuil cúpla daoine anso agus táid sásta chun glaoch físeáin a thogaint liom am go h-am. Níl mise líofacht fós ach tuigim an Ghaelaínn ceart go leor. Tá dhá rud asam, stór fhocail is blas ceart. Ach tá múinteoir agam níl mise a lorg ach chara is cleachtadh! Sheol teachtaireacht dom más mian leat a bheith ag caint!

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Chan e ach deuchainn a tha seo, feuch an gabh càil a dhèanamh leis. Feuch e.

I'm just sticking this up for a test to see if it will be any use. Try it.

And boy are my arms legs.

Maybe a little beyond questioning, but I have not yet come to terms with myself. Maybe more of a self reflection rant of sorts. Maybe I just need to outwardly think things through with others.

So I am not going to give my life story and all the reason I could be trans because deep down I just know I am. And I have been ignoring the signs for years and just kind of floating through life. Ignoring why I am not happy and just accepting that I would never be happy in this life, looking for ways to use that pain to create art and poetry.

I have had to reflect a lot on myself this past year as my marriage ended. And for the first time in my life at 35 I found myself living alone. And I have been working hard self reflecting trying to make myself a better person. Dig myself up and turn myself over so something good could grow from me. Thinking of my future and how to be alright alone.

Which leads me to this account and the story behind Eda Ann. And at the time of working through the idea of the story I saw myself as completely cis. Though I think my unacknowledged desires were clear.

This next bit is a bit disjointed because I never finished fleshing out the story so it's more of an idea.

Skip this if you don't want to read a fictional story ‐-----------------

So Eda is an android, but a special android. You see her mind is a copy of my mind as an old man. It's reverted to that of a child with memories removed a clean slate to experience life anew. I've never been comfortable with the idea of extended life through the copying of the mind. But starting something new seems right.

The old man gets the daughter he always wanted in his old age. Teaching her the ideas of philosophy and life that he can understand and what it means to live a meaningful life. Eda is adventurous and curious, always trying to figure things out. In the fall the old man teaches her about the fearies amd the magic and wonder in the world. He sets up a little light show of dancing lights and calls it the faerie festival. The show fills Eda with wonder and excitment.

The next day they have to go to town to get supplies and it Is Edas first time meeting other people. Still filled with excitement from the night before and more excitement from the new experience she imagines is about to happen. Only to find once she gets there that people treat her rudly and she gets wierd looks. Some people even yell mean things at her calling her names and such.

When they get

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

And then shook his arm really fast.

(True story, please groan with me.)