As the nation’s mourning eyes turned from the Bull Moose’s grave to the presidency of man once a slave, once a soldier, and always a statesman, John R. Lynch would prove an active chief executive. With American and Porfiriato troops capturing Morelos and driving Emiliano Zapata in hiding, Presiden Lynch would authorize a gradual drawdown of the American presence in Mexico, with a full withdrawal planned by the beginning of 1911; save for a detachment ordered to hunt down and capture Pancho Villa once and for all. Yet, the military has remained active, being used to quell violence in response to two major massacres of black Americans and invading Haiti in the opening months of 1910. With the nation in Civil War, the Lynch Administration appointed a governing committee for Haiti and negotiated Haitian statehood with it, with the war torn and poverty ridden former nation admitted as the 49th state over the summer of 1910. Meanwhile, President Lynch has vetoed an extension of the Chinese Exclusion Act and signed the Houk-Poindexter Act, instituting the nation’s first minimum wage, and the Poindexter Tariff, raising tariffs by 6% on average while maintaining a low income tax rate.

President Lynch would fire the first salvo in the Federal Republican campaign in his first address to Congress, declaring his support for labor unions in principle while stating that “a political organization that is created in the interest of labor is no less repugnant to the spirit of our institutions than one created in the interest of capital.”. With that began the president’s crusade to drive the final nails into the coffin Farmer-Labor, as he has thrown himself behind the efforts of Secretary of Labor Terence V. Powderly to convince members of politically active unions such as the General Trades Union to instead join Powderly’s non-politically active, anti-strike Knights of Labor. The Federal Republican campaign has been greatly aided by the bombing of the Los Angeles Times less than a month ago, leaving 21 dead, suspected to have been carried out by radical labor activists associated with the Industrial Workers of the World, a terrorist attack dubbed the “crime of the century” by a Hearst newspaper. With the President himself campaigning enthusiastically, Federal Republicans campaign on the accomplishments of President Lynch, taking credit for the minimum wage and annexation of Haiti, and the memory of the late President Roosevelt, sometimes going as far as to ask Americ

(Verse 1)

He was at the top and still is at the top,

All the bots are back as if there was no stop,

Everybody likes the modified pastas,

But then you fucking improved on it, you real Cummy master.

(Verse 2)

Cum shit nut sex fuck fuck nut nut,

That's all "cummy" used to say, without busting one nut,

You leave your cum under every single god damn post,

And you are a gift, a miracle, like the pastas you god damn boast.

​(Bridge)

Oh Cummy, I love you!

It's time to start anew,

Your banishment was an attack; it left us all hobblin',

But now you are back, and the other one's just wobblin'.

​(Verse 3)

Cummy 2K V2 is a God-given preacher,

Commenting everywhere – he could even paste Jack Reacher,

This real Cummy is an ally with a nice face,

The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

(Bridge x2)

(End)

Signed portrait of John Roy Lynch, 25th President of the United States.

Administration:

Vice President: Vacant (1909-1910), John D. White (1910-1913)

Secretary of State: Shelby M. Cullom (1909-1911 (resigned)), William McKinley (1911-1913)

Secretary of the Treasury: George Walbridge Perkins (1909-1911 (appointed Ambassador to Japan)), Henry Ford (1911-1913)

Secretary of War: John M. Parker (1909 (resigned)), Stewart L. Woodford (1909-1913)

Attorney General: Charles J. Bonaparte (1909 (promoted)), Robert H. Terrell (1909-1913)

Secretary of the Navy: Albert J. Beveridge (1909 (resigned)), Charles J. Bonaparte (1909-1913)

Secretary of the Interior: Joseph M. Carey

Postmaster General: George L. Wellington

Secretary of Agriculture: Marion Butler (1909 (resigned)), George Washington Carver (1909-1913)

Secretary of Labor: Terence V. Powderly

Secretary of Science and Technology: George Westinghouse

Lynch entered office to find the letters of resignation of Secretary of Agriculture Marion Butler and Secretary of War John M. Parker upon his desk, though neither officially cited race as a determinant in their decision it was widely speculated to be a reaction to serving under Lynch. Lynch would replace Butler with renowned black agriculturalist George Washington Carver, who would place the Department of Agriculture in close cooperation with George Westinghouse's Department of Science and Technology. 73 year old New Yorker Stewart L. Woodford, a former ally of Roscoe Conkling and a longtime Roosevelt critic, was controversially appointed to replace Parker. On December 27th, Albert J. Beveridge would tender his resignation as Secretary of the Navy, to be replaced by progressive Attorney General Charles J. Bonaparte. Yet, the promotion of Bonaparte would open way for scandal, as Lynch appointed his former law partner Robert H. Terrell to the Attorney General position, denying allegations of nepotism and noting Terrell's qualifications as a civil rights lawyer. The overwhelmingly Federal Republican Senate would confirm all appointments soon after returning to session in 1909.

The issue of the Vice Presidency was soon opened, with Charles J. Bonaparte and Joseph I. France, both of Maryland, floated as possible candidates. France was considered the most likely choice, yet at a mere 35 years old he was deemed too young

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Amy

Excerpt from
Amusing Ourselves To Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business (1985)
by Neil Postman

https://preview.redd.it/7nf89nape9e81.jpg?width=285&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79ada3ed132363bd46e1be2393cbbb1246c9eb1d

Foreword

We were keeping our eye on 1984. When the year came and the prophecy didn't, thoughtful Americans sang softly in praise of themselves. The roots of liberal democracy had held. Wherever else the terror had happened, we, at least, had not been visited by Orwellian nightmares.

But we had forgotten that alongside Orwell's dark vision, there was another - slightly older, slightly less well known, equally chilling: Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Contrary to common belief even among the educated, Huxley and Orwell did not prophesy the same thing. Orwell warns that we will be overcome by an externally imposed oppression. But in Huxley's vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.

What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions". In 1984, Huxley added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.

This book is about the possibility that Huxley, not Orwell, was right.

The Medium Is The Metaphor

At different times in our history, different cities have been the focal point of a radiating American spirit. In the late eighteenth century, for example, Boston was the