Attention Punners

I am a representative from the r/PunPatrol and we have been seeing some of our officers have been arrested individuals on this server where in a peace treaty we have allowed Puns in this subreddit. We apologise for these rogue officers and have reported them to r/PunInternalAffairs . Thanks for understanding.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWESOMEDUDE0614
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Key and Peele....

... are two things you can do to damage lemons.

I almost put this in /r/showerthoughts, but they don't allow puns.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamHR
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
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Due to complaints, Hawaii passed a law where you're not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel

You can only use a low ha

πŸ‘︎ 338
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughter in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Falcia
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud, big, hearty laughs in Hawaii?

Or does it have to be aloha?

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifelink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are the Hershey kisses not allowed in SpaceX flights?

Because Mars has monopoly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shreddit_man
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Quarantine has allowed me to finish 3 books.

It may not sound like much, but thats a lot of colouring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
A new pub opened up that allows minors over the age of twelve.

It's a pro-teen bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dyslexic that wasn't allowed to talk about his genes?

No one could touch his NDA.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N11Ordo
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.

After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is it that nobody who lives within ten miles of Wisconsin's Forest Home Cemetery is allowed to be buried there?

Because they're all still alive!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why isn't Dracula allowed out during COVID?

He's always coffin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazeyderp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didn’t have what I was looking for and that I wasn’t allowed to leave.

There was no Escape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Are they allowed to LOL?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Women were not allowed inside the temple...

... unless they put their big-girl pantheon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

They are key workers

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarBoobSale
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Trump not allowed in the White House anymore?

Because it's forbiden.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juicy_rectum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Allow me to introduce myself
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raghav50w
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tambalajus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40

40 kids is way too much by any standard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Opposite-Dustt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Our Tea Company only allows men in the quality control department. It is a requirement,

...Two Testis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.

This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyCamoCat738
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, only to be stopped by a priest at the door. "I'm very sorry but we don't allow Higgs-Boson in here."

The Higgs-Boson then replies, "But without me, how will you have mass?"

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Cymbals should be allowed to have sex with whomever they want

Let bi-gongs be bi-gongs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
When visiting France, one has to go to the structure that allows sufficient observation to discover more than enough to be satisfied.

Oui, a visit to the Eyeful Tower is always recommended when vacationing in France.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What invention allows us to see through walls?

Windows!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
In which part of Canada are you not allowed to do anything?

Ban-ff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Are pun requests allowed?

I'm trying to find a good pun for pine or pine tree that is wedding/marriage themed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firetruckyou098
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
The folks who live in my town aren’t allowed to be buried in the old cemetery on the edge of town.

Mostly because they’re not dead yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Panthropoly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?

Nitrogen, sulfur, Fluorine, and tungsten, cause they are NSFW.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know about the group where only Trump supporters were allowed?

The others are forbiden.

Credit to u/i_like_it_eilat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepperminthippos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What fruit is not allowed in any Las Vegas Wedding Chapels?

Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfoxtrot21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
does Hawii allow loud laughs...

or just a-low-ha

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emily-Savage
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Does Hawaii allow loud laughs?

Or just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Due to noise complaints, they passed a law in Hawaii that you’re no longer allowed to laugh above a certain decibel...

Now you can only use a low ha

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedudenamedjay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bttrflyr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know in the 1950’s Hawaii passed a law that people were not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel due to too many noise complaints?

Now you can only do a-low-ha

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/your-turn
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/christiescrubbs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/user7618
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii,

Or just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughs in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii...

Or just a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckySPWN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
In Hawaii, do they allow loud laughing?

Or is it just A lo ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in hawai

Or just a low ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJonesy007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or is it just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suktupbutterkup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or is it just a low ha

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Candidate_035
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report

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