People ask me where I steal all my dad jokes from

They get surprise to know that I have a dad-a-base

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slcikdeaaal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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People ask me where I am stealing all my dadjokes from

From a dad-a-base

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slcikdeaaal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke β€” What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?

A1C por favor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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My Dad comes into my room looking really worried, I ask him what was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help, He responds by saying "I lost the book which had all the photos and message from my friends"

Knowing a slam book could not be replaced I tried consoling him, but I remembered digitalized it for him a year ago I quickly logged on to the PC to check if I had a backup. He quickly smiled and said it had a Blue cover, after about 10mins of searching I asked him if he remembered what I named the book. He burst out and said Facebook.

Frustrated I left the room to find my entire family sitting in the hall, and my mother goes "He did it to you too, didn't he"

And I'm here perplexed by the lengths a dad would go for his jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ancil5199
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Recently, I have started gardening and started to plant all my herbs in alphabetical order. People often ask how I find the time.

I tell them β€œit’s next to the sage”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CineArma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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My friends sometime ask me why I yell at them all the time over instant message about this amazing new business opportunity I’m involved in that I’m really excited about! They also ask me if maybe if shift key on my keyboard is broken.

But I reply β€œNO I AM A CAPITALIST”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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At a funeral a man sits Behind the woman who’s husband just died. The man leans forward and asks, β€œdo u mind if I say a word?” she responds, β€œNot at all, please do.” the man stands up and says β€œplethora” and sits back down.

β€œThanks,” said the woman, β€œthat means a lot.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turboboob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I live in an old neighborhood with a 100 year old oak tree. One day every year, all the kids in the neighborhood put all their boy/girl scout badges on the tree. One day, I wonder why the kids do this. So, I called up my dad to ask him, and he said...

"Oh, it's just a badge oak."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kabirmain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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I can't wait until we're all gathered around the table and as we're about to eat, I'll ask my family as I do each and every year, "What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?"

And as the groans begin, I'll screech, "The letter G!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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Our store was closing and the plants were all lined up inside because of the big storm. We’re walking through the racks of plants and pick some flowers up. I ask my coworker,

β€œSo, got any good mum jokes?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mapkar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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Ppl ask why dad jokes are so funny, I tell them it's all about the delivery

Which is why the Dr with no arms couldn't work with pregnant women

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rationaljackass
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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I ask my newborn son all the time if he's got ties to Russia.

Cause he's a Pootin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ejl5090
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
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When I was little, my dad would ask me and all my friends this one. It took me a long time to realize it made no sense, but he still (15+ years later) insists that it's completely logical.

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: One of the legs is both the same.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2013
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People ask me where I store all my dad jokes.

In a dad-a-base

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruski_Oligarch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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