I am taking a girl to see that new film about Marie and Pierre Curie
I hear there is lots of on screen chemistry
I went on a date with girl and we got to talking about hobbies, she said she collected Monet paintings and would I like to see her collection.
I was reading a tweet about how a girl thinks Angela Lansbury's death looks suspicious as a possible cause
I took my wife to a movie about a girl hitting puberty
I want to tell you about a girl who eats only plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
In a shop the other day, a little girl (about 7 years old) came and asked my wife if she could tell her a joke
Obviously my wife said yes and the girl came out with this
Why do you have to go to bed?
Because the bed doesn’t come to you!
I immediately burst out laughing as I’d never heard that one before! Was great to know that the dad joke tradition is in safe hands with the younger generations!
Nervous about chatting up a girl? Push her out of a plane while flying over greenland.
It's a good way to break the ice.
My 12yo son hasn't hit his growth spurt, and was asked out by a girl. "But dad, she's too tall!" he complained. I replied, there's two great things about dating a taller girl:
Hugs.
(He blushed and walked a away. Got him!)
Talking baby names with the girlfriend, "what about Noah for a girl", she said, "Hey, whatever floats your boat", I replied.
I received a few jabs in the ribs for that one.
P.s. We aren't expecting, just being sickly.
Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
If a girl thinks long and hard enough about becoming an e-girl, does that make her thotful?
I was watching a documentary about a girl who got breast implants made of wood
I thought to myself, that'd hurt, wooden tit?
Did you hear the one about the girl who didn’t grow a butt until her thirties?
The called her Slowly-Butt Shirley
Warned my son about the dangers of drugs today. Told him a story about a girl I knew who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time. Surprised, he asked, "Really?" I replied, "Yes, absolutely true."
"She became a little spore addict."
Husband and wife conversing about a skinny girl
Wife: She’s so beautiful look how skinny she is
Husband: she’s so skinny she can hang glide
with a Dorito
Wife: WOW! That was original
Husband: No honey, it was actually Cool Ranch
Did you hear about that girl who thought she was a small sailboat?
She's just a little dinghy.
Ya hear about the girl who dated a bottle of ginger ale?
She was Schwepped off her feet!
I was reading a piece of fan fiction about a girl so beautiful, all the heroes wanted to make her their wife, yet so powerful, no villain dared fighting her. They rather sought legal action against her.
Had to lay it down, I can't stand these marry/sue charakters.
So I was talking to a girl I know about how she'd gotten sunburned today.
She was talking about the different parts of her body that got burnt, and then:
Her: "For some reason only my left boob got burnt."
Me: "Well, that's just not right."
She called me dumb. Worth it.
A post on Uplifting news about a Girl who Picked up a Pick-Up truck (link to article in comments)
There's this book about a girl named Sarah and her pet dog, Dippity.
It's quite a relaxing read.
I was at a bar, about to ask a girl out, when suddenly the lights went out.
So I took a shot in the dark.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables
But I'm sure you've herbivore
Did you hear the one about the girl with scoliosis that did a porno?
They called it "Broke Back Mountin'!"
The good thing about dating a blind girl is
You never have to worry about her seeing anyone else
I saw a very hot girl at the pub talking about Bundesliga.
I didn't approach her. She was totally out of my league.
That Coldplay song must be about a girl with a serious craps/gambling addiction.
She's always dreaming about a pair of dice.
Did you read about that girl from Alaska who turned down a scholarship from a Native American scholarship fund?
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I want to tell you about a girl that ate plants
but you've probably never heard of herbivore!!
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I wanna tell you a joke about a girl that only eats plants...
But you’ve probably never heard of herbivore
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