What do you say when cheering on someone from the Balkan?
My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.
Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.
I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.
Maths is 40% natueal ability...
If the air conditioning in your car dies, you just need some WD-40.
I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40
40 kids is way too much by any standard
It FINALLY happened.
Almost 40 and growing my beard out for the first time. Wife finally says "You know I'm starting to like it." And I could finally say "Yeah. It's growing on me."
Women should not have babies after 40.
My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning
It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are always sick on weekdays.
Me: It must be my weekend immune system.
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
I asked my sheepdog how many sheep we had, he said 40.
"What? We should only have 37!" I replied.
"I know" he said, "I rounded them up".
Sheepdog: All 40 sheep are accounted for, boss. Farmer: But I only had 39?
Sheepdog: Yeah I know, but I rounded them up!
My partner turned 40 today so I gave him some red, red wine and told him
I once read a book about WD-40.
It was in the non-friction section.
My wife just finished her 40 week body building program.
She lost 8 pounds and 1 oz, and gained a new family member!
I'm officially a father and step father! Woohoo!
my wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning.
she's worked very hard and i know it's been difficult for her, but i'm very proud. she's in possibly the best shape of her life and she is once again confident in her own body, but i will endlessly love her despite what she looks like.
what, were you expecting me to say something about a baby?
If I had 50 cents for every maths Exam I failed
10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, and 90 walked into a bar
Every new McDonald's creates 40 new jobs...
20 heart surgeons and 20 dentists.
Two Deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says
“I can’t believe I blew 40 bucks in there”
A mountain lion has over 40 different names in English.
I sent an invitation to 40 of my German friends to come to my wedding
Told my wife when she turns 40, I was gonna have to trade her in on 2, 20's
She said that I wasn't wired for it.....
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
I met a woman outside the mall crying
She had lost $200, so I gave her $40 from the $200 I just found. When god blesses you, you must bless others.
Taken from dad jokes
They say that 40 is the new 30
Kent traffic police beg to differ...
When I was a kid, I accidentally caught my parents having SEX
These were the most awkward 40 minutes of my life
39 & 40 were having a bet to see which one was bigger.
Sheepdog: Yep, that’s 40 sheep there. Farmer: What, there should be only 37?
Sheepdog: Hey, I rounded them up!
What happened when 40 played in a competitive game?
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
The AG ain't thinking straight
Parents shouldn't have kids after 40.
I mean, 40 kids is probably already too many.
I lost 40 kilograms in 1 week
The weightlifting club fired me soon after.
People say 60 is the new 40
The cop who pulled me over, didn't have that point of view
why is everyone in there 30-40's a knight?
because they're in their Middle Ages
I’ve put on 40 pounds over the holidays
For the first time in my life I’m not skinny. For those of you who have held out this long for a fat joke, the weight is finally over.
A sheep dog tells a farmer, "I've gathered up 40 sheep". The farmer replies, "But we only have 37 sheep?" The dog responds..
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
I asked my sheepdog how many sheep we had, he said 40.
"What? We should only have 37!" I replied.
"I know" he said, "I rounded them up".
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days
I said it must be my weekend immune system
I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40.
40 kids is way too much by any standard.
Sheep dog: here are your 40 sheep!
Shepherd: Wait, I only had 37!
Sheep dog: I know, I rounded them up!
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