Coweed 19
Itβs a Pierre to Pierre network.
Shellfish
But you guys hated it
What is the biggest gate in the world?
Colgate
It's a sound investment.
Toupee
...But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."
Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...
So instead, tell me your best and maybe even... cheesiest... joke that youβve used for your own Blue Cheese Day!!
Edit: Apparently thatβs a Cake. Damn it. I probably could have found a sweet cake joke to use.
But I do not think it will take off.
When I was 15 I asked my dad if I was a mistake. Without skipping a step he responded: "Not until after you were born."
ΚΔ±ppΗΙΉqns sΔ±Ι₯Κ
He said, "Fuck off. Get your own!"
Then youβll have a little bit of company.
Time will tell.
but if no one likes it and it gets down-voted then so-v-iet
A begbud.
My wife and I were visiting Bass Pro Shop today and I noticed there were some ducks in the pond outside of the building. I pointed them out to my wife who, upon noticing them bobbing up and down in the water, asked me what they were doing. Without missing a beat I replied "They're Ducking."
We where at the table having lunch and eating the dessert, the dessert were some pre-made waffles that my mom had bought with ice cream on top, and the waffles where old and they had stayed on the freezer until we needed them, for some reason we started talking about how old the waffles where when my dad said with a semi-serious face: "theyre already from the last year" and stupid me reply with "already" to wich my dad just says that all food on the table was from a year ago and i finnaly realise it.
Because then it'll become a cobra.
You know he fasted a lot, which made him skinny and frail. He also walked barefoot for most of his life. Spent a lot of time pondering life's imponderable mysteries. Oh, and they say he had bad breath. In other words, I guess Gandhi was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.
He's someone who has been very creative in his ways when he delivers his jokes to his victims, I'm a bit ashamed I didn't see this one coming
He called me on the phone, saying he needed help with doing something, sounding fairly serious on phone. He said "soljakwinever I need your help with something on amazon. I keep searching for lighters and it's not working right. Can you open it on your phone for me" Recently he's been asking me for help with some computer stuff, I built it for him lately and it's got nothing problems, blue screens over stuff, he's very smart but I wouldn't say he's anywhere near 'tech-literate'. But his is getting issues like I've never seen. So I assumed he needed help with something like that. I answered "Sure Bryan. Let my just open the app." Pulling Amazon up on my phone. "So what did you need help with? Something about lighters" I ask. He replies still sounding serious "I keep searching for lighters and the app keeps showing me matches. Can you try it and see if that happens to me too." I type 'Lighter' into the search bar, submit the search and looking at my results, seeing product listings for lighters. "Looks normal to me. I'm seeing nothing but lighters" He responds starting to crack "Yeah! Nothing but matches!"
I got played.
EDIT: Wording fix
"The corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes."
http://i.imgur.com/1XdScio.png
Some guy waring silver drawers came up to me and told me to go fork myself. That wasn't very knife of him to say but spoon I shall get my revenge.
What was E.T short for?
His legs
"Cricket noises"
A T-Rexpo
He said only on a knead to know basis
a good one
So now I own Birkenstocks
Rated^A^joke
He's never gonna give you Up.
Where I work, we have a honeybee hive and sell the honey in our market.
A pair of beekeepers were in the other day to extract some combs and before they left, they asked us (my Hispanic coworkers and myself) if we wanted to see them.
Both of my coworkers exclaimed, "Si, si!" and I promptly chimed in, "No, they aren't c's - they're bees!"
Audibly groans were had, I am ready for fatherhood.
I wasn't sure if it fit but it made me think of this sub.
I was in the hospital with my dad. Late night, new nurse walks in.
Her: "Hello. My name is Angel, and I'll be your nurse tonight."
Dad: Looks up. "Well if you're an Angel I must be in heaven."
Me: "Oh my god. Really?"
I thought it was a nice jester
He said, "Get your own"
Time will tell
Shellfish
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