I hate most numbers. The number 2 is definitely second rate, and 3 looks like fish lips. Donβt even get me started on the numbers 4 through 9. 0 means nothing to me.
Should I feel bad for hating so many numbers? Nah. God just wants us to love everyone.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 08 2021
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. Whatβs left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
π︎ 484
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
Why did the 2 x 4 get sent to his room?
It was knotty! Hey YO!!!! (I really am sorryβ¦)
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 26 2021
Went out for breakfast this morning, item #4 on the menu was "Toast and 2 eggs any style". The waitress asked me how I wanted my eggs...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 23 2021
A pie is $2.00 in the Bahamas and $4 in Jamaica and only $3.40 in Barbados
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 05 2021
Itβs a rare occurrence when a pun gives you a religious experience. The Argyle Sweater for 4/2/2021
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
How do you measure the heaviness of a 2.4 million Scoville chilli pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
2, 4 and 6 tried to defeat 3, 5 and 7
But the odds were against them
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 16 2019
The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
π︎ 99
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
What did I do to confirm 2+2 was 4?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What did the number 2 say to number 4?
I'm always rooting for you
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Why did Episodes 4, 5 and 6 come out before 1, 2 and 3?
In charge of scheduling Yoda was.
π︎ 597
π
︎ May 04 2020
How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.
When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!
π︎ 58
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
My 4 year old daughter came crying that she couldn't find her Barbie dolls. Apparently, my 2 year old son threw them in fire last night for fun.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
teacher: what are 2, 4, 6, 8, 10...?
steven: even numbers
stephen: ephen numbers
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 13 2018
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Julie Andrewsβ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread
Dβoh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
Choose any number between 2 and 8. Multiply by 4, and then add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
A mom angrily told her 4 year old son to say counting if he wanted to get his lunch. So the boy started... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10...
I don't think he need that lunch anymore. He already 8
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
What's 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy.
An empty toilet paper roll.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
What do you have if you 4 apples and 2 oranges in one hand and 3 lemons and a grapefruit in the other hand?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
It's hard to believe, but 40 - 32 / 2 = 4!
π︎ 94
π
︎ Aug 17 2018
So numbers 1 to 9 had a party but 2, 4, 6 & 8 did not turn up
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
1. Cockadoodle 2. Yabba Dabba 3. Voo 4. Sea 5. Didgeri
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 26 2019
Adults have 2 kidneys, but most children have 4.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Sep 06 2018
What 4 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?
Short
Edit: I mean. 5 letters word
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 16 2019
I want to get my buddy a good present but all I can find is a painting that has a prostitute saying, "1,2,3,4..." and I don't think he'll like it.
But it's the thot that counts.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
Do spiders outside of the US have 2.4 meters instead of 8 feet?
π︎ 193
π
︎ Oct 29 2015
In Jamaica they sell apple pie for $2.50, chicken pot pie for $3.50 and pecan for $4.00 Puerto Rico they sell Boston cream pie for $4.00, chocolate cream pie for $3.00 and blueberry pie for 3.50. In the Dominican they sell chicken pot pie for $4.00, apple pie $3.50, and blueberry for $5.00.
And those my friends are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 21 2018
What city has 3/7 of chicken 2/3 of cat 2/4 of goat?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
2 Ο is good, but 4 Ο is better!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 14 2018
I donβt mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in one day, and the box said 2-4 years!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jul 13 2018
I have 4 eyes, 2 mouths and 5 ears. What am I?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 24 2017
"Wether its 2 or 4 legs prissy is expensive" -my dad.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 16 2018
2+2=4
π︎ 35
π
︎ Apr 01 2017
There are 4 things really important in a relationship. 1 is love, 2 is sex, and what is 3 + 4?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 22 2016
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda: In charge of scheduling, I was.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
Why did Star Wars 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3?
Because in charge of the schedule Yoda was.
π︎ 230
π
︎ Jun 30 2019
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Nov 23 2019
What's 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Sep 11 2019
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence. Yoda was.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Oct 18 2019
What did 3/4 say to 2/8?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Apr 09 2018
What do children have 4 of but adults only have 2 of?
π︎ 94
π
︎ May 12 2016
A chicken coup has 2 doors. What do you call it if it has 4?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 29 2018
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9..9.1...9.2...9.3.. Are you counting?', they asked.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 21 2017
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