30 Years to Life Puns

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

Note: even though my great grandmother made this joke I feel it was dad-joke worthy.

While visiting my great grandmother (she's 96 yrs old during this time) recently she asked my dad for a foot massage, my dad happily obliged. She told him that he'd made her so proud in life to have a grandson like him and how wonderful he is while receiving the foot massage. My dad have the best massage he could muster for a good 30 minutes before he was too tired to continue. When my dad had finished massaging her feet he asked "how was that grandma?" Which she replied with "I haven't felt anything in my feet in 10 years" then she burst out laughing to the best that her health would allow. She passed away a few weeks later, she always played jokes on us even to her last days. Thanks for reading.

Rest in peace great grandma

TL:DR grandma needs new legs.

Over dinner with the family my mom delivered the news that my 30 year old cousin, who has been a burn-out his whole life, got himself a job at a mine on Nevada.

Dad: "looks like that boy is just digging himself deeper in the hole."

Had to high five him for that one.