Winning performance of the 2015 "Pun Off' World Championship [judges scored it 40/40] youtube.com/watch?v=euLwL…
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
🚨︎ report
2015: Didn't jog

2016: Didn't jog

2017: Didn't jog

2018: Didn't jog

2019: Didn't jog

2020: Still haven't jogged

This is a running joke...

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Man... 2015 seems like it was just yesterday!
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalbeak12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
🚨︎ report
I've decided to step up my dad joke game in 2015

So I'm posting this from the upstairs computer

πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hawkline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
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2015 has been an odd year....

2016 will be an even one

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blade89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Guys, enough of the 2015 jokes.

You've been making these jokes all year

πŸ‘︎ 269
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dekuscrub
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Unintentional from futurology article on 2015 key technologies to look out for: "The commercial drone industry ...

... is still struggling to get off the ground."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dplhollands
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
🚨︎ report
On December 18, 2015, seeing the new Star Wars movie will be on my R2D2-do list.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2015
🚨︎ report
As 2015 approaches, here's my 2014 in review imgur.com/j5nycXA
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gavinfuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Golden Pun 2015 (X-post /r/funny) imgur.com/40PnSdl
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tesler34
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2015
🚨︎ report
RIP 2015 (2015-2015)
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DARTH_HODOR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad calls me up and tells me, "On this October 21, 2015, I see most of the people with bad manners are gone ...

... we're Back to the Few Churls."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlking3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad already knows who will win the 2015 Super Bowl...

The team with the most points.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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My sister found out Alt-J was playing at Osheaga 2015 this year and my dad said.....

"Alt-J? Who is that? The brother of Ctrl-J?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plastictf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2015
🚨︎ report
How do you say "Sup dawg?" in Japanese?

Konichihuahua

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

In 2015 we ate over 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys.

πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameTheTrait
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Can we agree

That noone in 2015 got the right answer for "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate when people ask where i see my self in 3 years

How should i know, i don't have 2020 vision.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/philbertagain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What happened to the man who didn't finish his joke?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nexio8324
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Here is my Top 10 list of favorite years from the past decade.

(In chronological order)

2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drigana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Are leaked images allowed here?
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shurdddd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Amazing Optometrists pun exchange twitter.com/SunLifeUK/sta…
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samuelgillies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
🚨︎ report
So, your cat lost one of his lives?

I guess now he's an octo-puss.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teatimetibbons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
🚨︎ report
My Thanksgiving Confession

Hey guys. As I'm sure most of you know, it's currently Thanksgiving in Canada. This time of year for me has, in the past, caused a lot of issues in my life.

To give a little bit of background on me, I'm usually an extremely healthy and fit guy, as I play high-level sports and have a physically demanding job. However, for much of my life, my willpower began to crumble around this time of year.

I first started taking my diet seriously when I was about 12 years old. I had some kind of realization where like, I dunno, I started looking at how jacked these movie stars were and was all, "wow, I want to be that cool too." Judging by the bowl cut I had when I was 12, my perception of cool may have been a little skewed, but I digress.

Anyhow, it was my first Thanksgiving where everything started falling apart. One of my relative's families ended up no-showing for dinner, so we were left with a load of Thanksgiving leftovers. For the next week, every single meal or snack I had was Thanksgiving themed. Sandwich? Turkey sandwich. Breakfast? Let's dollop some cranberry sauce on that bad boy. By the next week, my BGC (blood gravy content) was probably at like 1.0%.

You'd think I'd be sick of holiday food after that. But no. I loved it.

The tradition of refrigerated Thanksgiving snacks continued throughout the rest of my teen years. Like clockwork, the numbers on the scale would significantly jump upwards in October, with Halloween candy adding an extra layer of calories on top. By the time I reached 17, my waist had begun noticeably ballooning, and I realized it was all due to Thanksgiving turkey. Sure, I had some at Christmas and sometimes at Easter, but never like that. My mother would encourage this habit, making more food each year to be stuffed into our packed refrigerator.

The movie star bod I wanted for so much at the age of 12 was slipping a way. I needed to put an end to this.

Flash forward to October 2015, age 18. I had made a vow: I never again would place such putrid poultry onto my tastebuds. And ever since that fateful week of 2014, my vow had held true.

Each Thanksgiving, I can feel that craving for chilled turkey knocking on the refrigerator door of my fragile ego. For three years, I've held strong. But when will the garrison fall? When will that soft, biting flesh of the big bird smash it's way back into my life.

But so far, I've quit cold turkey.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M3gaC00l
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Doctor's office

So I go into the dr. office, tell the receptionist my name and say "I have an appointment with the doctor."

She says "Which doctor?"

I say "No, just a regular one..."

Get it? Witch Doctor...

πŸ‘︎ 264
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skinner70
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Neil deGrasse Tyson strikes again twitter.com/neiltyson/sta…
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
🚨︎ report
New revolutionary Star Wars pun. twitter.com/Slimecicle/st…
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slimecicle
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Help: geology-themed puns needed.

My sister teaches at a high school for children with learning and behavior disorders, and every year she hosts a skills summer camp.

2015 will be geology-themed, and we need help thinking of a fun name for the camp.

Previous years: 2014 Summer Scenarios: Little Egypt (Egyptian themed) 2013 Summer Scenarios (first year had no kitchy name, but it was zombie-themed)

Potential examples: Stone Throne, Rock Steady, Taken for Granite, etc.

During the live-in camp (boarding school), they'll learn survival/outdoorsmanship skills (fire starting, gardening, canoeing, etc.), and have geologists as guest speakers.

Any high school learning-friendly geology-themed blockbusters would be welcome suggestions, too--but I'll post that for the people over at /r/movies.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: Thanks to everyone who actually gave appropriate suggestions, and high-fives to those who just made rock puns. My sister selected Game of Stones.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allthedoll
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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The Truth About Today. twitter.com/CelsoDeSa/sta…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/machine_pun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
🚨︎ report
What's next for Apple?

The iPhone 6 and its big brother the plus has just been launched and already websites are crawling with the next iphone slated to launch in sep-oct of 2015 and experts are wondering if the new iPhone under Tim Cook's management will flop or be a....6 s?

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FingerFlares
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Happy New Year Everyone!

I'll remember 2015 like it was yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
🚨︎ report
At Mad Max last weekend...

The scene where Max is grabbed by the Pole Cat,

http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/mad-max-fury-road-image-the-war-rig.jpg

and ends up getting dumped onto the car with the drums and guitar guy

http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-620/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/3/31/1427821675682/5e25da37-61d7-44fd-a9a3-b2f5b8b5a791-620x372.jpeg

I leaned over to my GF and said "It looks like he's jumped onto... the bandwagon" She totally lost it :)

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/worldspawn00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call the rich elites in China?
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
🚨︎ report
This is old but gold...
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ May 03 2017
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I'm a Dad. I rock this one constantly

Whenever I see something with an expiration date that has a ridiculous time a lotted for consumption I will say... For instance today is august 16,2013 If i buy cereal today that expires on november 2015 I will say "we have to hurry up and eat this by november 2015!" Hahaha...crickets

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ron247365
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2013
🚨︎ report
My New Years resolution is to stop using spray-on deodorants.

Roll on 2015!

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Wexican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Older brother dad joked his coworker today.

A new African American employee of his walks into his office and asks "Do you guys have a colored printer here?"

To which he responds, "Dude it's 2015, you can use whatever printer you want!"

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vloaded
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Anne has a problem.

Anne has a solution.

Anne has a will.

Anne Hathaway

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
🚨︎ report
2014: Didn't jog.

2015: Didn't jog.

2016: Didn't jog.

2017: Didn't jog.

2018: Didn't jog.

2019: Didn't jog

2020 : Still haven't jogged.

This is a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 287
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
2012: Didn’t jog

2013: Didn’t jog

2014: Didn't jog

2015: Didn't jog

2016: Didn't jog

2017: Didn’t jog

2018: Didn’t jog

2019: Didn’t jog

2020: Still haven’t jogged

This is a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orangelyorange__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
2012: Didn’t jog

2013: Didn’t jog

2014: Didn't jog

2015: Didn't jog

2016: Didn't jog

2017: Didn’t jog

2018: Didn’t jog

2019: Didn’t jog

2020: Still haven’t jogged

This is a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orangelyorange__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report

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