A list of puns related to "2015"
2016: Didn't jog
2017: Didn't jog
2018: Didn't jog
2019: Didn't jog
2020: Still haven't jogged
This is a running joke...
So I'm posting this from the upstairs computer
2016 will be an even one
You've been making these jokes all year
... is still struggling to get off the ground."
... we're Back to the Few Churls."
The team with the most points.
"Alt-J? Who is that? The brother of Ctrl-J?"
Konichihuahua
In 2015 we ate over 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys.
That noone in 2015 got the right answer for "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
How should i know, i don't have 2020 vision.
(In chronological order)
2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019
I guess now he's an octo-puss.
Hey guys. As I'm sure most of you know, it's currently Thanksgiving in Canada. This time of year for me has, in the past, caused a lot of issues in my life.
To give a little bit of background on me, I'm usually an extremely healthy and fit guy, as I play high-level sports and have a physically demanding job. However, for much of my life, my willpower began to crumble around this time of year.
I first started taking my diet seriously when I was about 12 years old. I had some kind of realization where like, I dunno, I started looking at how jacked these movie stars were and was all, "wow, I want to be that cool too." Judging by the bowl cut I had when I was 12, my perception of cool may have been a little skewed, but I digress.
Anyhow, it was my first Thanksgiving where everything started falling apart. One of my relative's families ended up no-showing for dinner, so we were left with a load of Thanksgiving leftovers. For the next week, every single meal or snack I had was Thanksgiving themed. Sandwich? Turkey sandwich. Breakfast? Let's dollop some cranberry sauce on that bad boy. By the next week, my BGC (blood gravy content) was probably at like 1.0%.
You'd think I'd be sick of holiday food after that. But no. I loved it.
The tradition of refrigerated Thanksgiving snacks continued throughout the rest of my teen years. Like clockwork, the numbers on the scale would significantly jump upwards in October, with Halloween candy adding an extra layer of calories on top. By the time I reached 17, my waist had begun noticeably ballooning, and I realized it was all due to Thanksgiving turkey. Sure, I had some at Christmas and sometimes at Easter, but never like that. My mother would encourage this habit, making more food each year to be stuffed into our packed refrigerator.
The movie star bod I wanted for so much at the age of 12 was slipping a way. I needed to put an end to this.
Flash forward to October 2015, age 18. I had made a vow: I never again would place such putrid poultry onto my tastebuds. And ever since that fateful week of 2014, my vow had held true.
Each Thanksgiving, I can feel that craving for chilled turkey knocking on the refrigerator door of my fragile ego. For three years, I've held strong. But when will the garrison fall? When will that soft, biting flesh of the big bird smash it's way back into my life.
But so far, I've quit cold turkey.
So I go into the dr. office, tell the receptionist my name and say "I have an appointment with the doctor."
She says "Which doctor?"
I say "No, just a regular one..."
Get it? Witch Doctor...
My sister teaches at a high school for children with learning and behavior disorders, and every year she hosts a skills summer camp.
2015 will be geology-themed, and we need help thinking of a fun name for the camp.
Previous years: 2014 Summer Scenarios: Little Egypt (Egyptian themed) 2013 Summer Scenarios (first year had no kitchy name, but it was zombie-themed)
Potential examples: Stone Throne, Rock Steady, Taken for Granite, etc.
During the live-in camp (boarding school), they'll learn survival/outdoorsmanship skills (fire starting, gardening, canoeing, etc.), and have geologists as guest speakers.
Any high school learning-friendly geology-themed blockbusters would be welcome suggestions, too--but I'll post that for the people over at /r/movies.
Thanks in advance!
Edit: Thanks to everyone who actually gave appropriate suggestions, and high-fives to those who just made rock puns. My sister selected Game of Stones.
The iPhone 6 and its big brother the plus has just been launched and already websites are crawling with the next iphone slated to launch in sep-oct of 2015 and experts are wondering if the new iPhone under Tim Cook's management will flop or be a....6 s?
I'll remember 2015 like it was yesterday.
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
The scene where Max is grabbed by the Pole Cat,
http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/mad-max-fury-road-image-the-war-rig.jpg
and ends up getting dumped onto the car with the drums and guitar guy
http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-620/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/3/31/1427821675682/5e25da37-61d7-44fd-a9a3-b2f5b8b5a791-620x372.jpeg
I leaned over to my GF and said "It looks like he's jumped onto... the bandwagon" She totally lost it :)
Whenever I see something with an expiration date that has a ridiculous time a lotted for consumption I will say... For instance today is august 16,2013 If i buy cereal today that expires on november 2015 I will say "we have to hurry up and eat this by november 2015!" Hahaha...crickets
Roll on 2015!
A new African American employee of his walks into his office and asks "Do you guys have a colored printer here?"
To which he responds, "Dude it's 2015, you can use whatever printer you want!"
2015: Didn't jog.
2016: Didn't jog.
2017: Didn't jog.
2018: Didn't jog.
2019: Didn't jog
2020 : Still haven't jogged.
This is a running joke.
2013: Didnβt jog
2014: Didn't jog
2015: Didn't jog
2016: Didn't jog
2017: Didnβt jog
2018: Didnβt jog
2019: Didnβt jog
2020: Still havenβt jogged
This is a running joke.
2013: Didnβt jog
2014: Didn't jog
2015: Didn't jog
2016: Didn't jog
2017: Didnβt jog
2018: Didnβt jog
2019: Didnβt jog
2020: Still havenβt jogged
This is a running joke.
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