18 Hilarious 2 D Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

**Genie: I will grant you 2 wishes** **Me: I want to be rich.** **Genie: Okay granted, second wish?** **Rich: I'd like loads of money.**

Taken from fb

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/XDG-Diggz74

📅︎ Jan 03 2021

🚨︎ report

2 years ago my doctor told me I’d go deaf

I haven’t heard from him since.

👍︎ 101

💬︎

👤︎ u/the_houser

📅︎ Nov 15 2020

🚨︎ report

Why is there 2 d's in 'Reddit'?

Because one is a repost.

👍︎ 5k

💬︎

👤︎ u/ZZiyan_11

📅︎ Feb 04 2020

🚨︎ report

Why'd the giant octopus eat 2 ships filled with potatoes?

Cuz you can't eat just one potato ship.

👍︎ 17

💬︎

👤︎ u/Boofaka

📅︎ Apr 30 2020

🚨︎ report

I'd just like 1 or 2 upvotes, does this count?

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/jollyberries

📅︎ Jan 19 2020

🚨︎ report

I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Dec 16 2019

🚨︎ report

Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night.

It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

👍︎ 305

💬︎

👤︎ u/keithasaurus

📅︎ Sep 30 2018

🚨︎ report

I'd like to point out that r/dadjokes is about 100 subs away from 2 million

My father told me a million times

Never to exaggerate.

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/ponderingfox

📅︎ Oct 23 2019

🚨︎ report

My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/KingSulley

📅︎ Aug 23 2019

🚨︎ report

A 1-D object and a 2-D object walk into a bar

The 1-D object turns to the 2-D object

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/S4T4N1C

📅︎ Jun 15 2019

🚨︎ report

Why does “Reddit” have 2 ‘d’s?

The second ones a repost

👍︎ 34

💬︎

👤︎ u/Andyh10s

📅︎ Nov 02 2018

🚨︎ report

I just took an unsolicited phone call telling me I’d won either £200 or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert.

They said to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...

👍︎ 28

💬︎

👤︎ u/gr00veh0lmes

📅︎ May 07 2018

🚨︎ report

Why’d the chicken coup have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it’d be a chicken sedan.

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/AdamantTheAdamant

📅︎ Oct 03 2017

🚨︎ report

I used to work as a cashier at Old Navy where we'd have "One Day Wonder" sales like $2 tank tops.

I would say tanks for shopping with us and no one would notice.

👍︎ 16

💬︎

👤︎ u/hollandmoon

📅︎ Feb 15 2016

🚨︎ report

Dadjoked my own dad

Dad (looking at a website) : "How do I change my profile?"

Me: "Cut off your nose"

👍︎ 36

💬︎

👤︎ u/chibolamoo

📅︎ Nov 26 2014

🚨︎ report

2 years ago my doctor told me I’d go deaf

I haven’t heard from him since.

👍︎ 144

💬︎

👤︎ u/natrickshwazey

📅︎ Nov 13 2020

🚨︎ report

Why is there 2 d's in 'Reddit'

Because one is a repost.

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/Slav_Imperator

📅︎ Feb 04 2020

🚨︎ report

Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night.

It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show

👍︎ 26

💬︎

👤︎ u/OwenJthomas89

📅︎ Sep 16 2019

🚨︎ report