Why do you have have to be 18+ to watch a pirate movie?
Because of all of the booty
I just mentally slapped myself
π︎ 2k
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︎ Apr 16 2022
As I was dropping my son off on his first day of school, he worriedly looked at me and asked, βHow long do I have to go to school for?β Smiling, I responded, βUntil youβre 18 buddy!" He nodded, thought about it for a bit and said...
βDad, you will remember to come and get me when Iβm 18, wonβt you?β
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︎ Apr 05 2022
Does this sub allow 18+ content?
I don't know, but I guess ++++++++++++++++++ is fine.
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︎ Jun 16 2022
I'm so proud of my 18 year old son
I gave him a puzzle that said "2-3 years" on it and he completed it in 2 minutes.
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︎ Feb 25 2022
I couldn't make it as a chef when I turned 18.
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 14 2022
Warning , 18+
π︎ 15
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︎ Apr 22 2022
What did the musician say when he saw a person younger than 18?
π︎ 15
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︎ Apr 20 2022
Man: I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
Friend: "Why not?"
Man: I don't like to interrupt her.
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︎ Mar 05 2022
Wanna hear an under 18 joke? Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he didn't have a driver's license
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 04 2022
[Warning 18+]
π︎ 3k
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Warning: This joke is 18 and above
π︎ 15
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︎ Jan 25 2022
Have you heard about the South African politician golfers in 1994 that were even going into 18?
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 10 2022
Plant it during the cool days of spring or fall. Space the plants 18 to 24 inches apart in an area that gets plenty of sunlight and has rich, well-drained soil with a pH of 6.5 to 7.0
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︎ Nov 13 2021
The world record for a drum solo is 10 hours and 18 minutes.
Itβs held by the kid who sat behind me on American Airlines flight 86 from DFW to Paris.
π︎ 68
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︎ Jul 14 2021
This post used to be 18+
but I multiply it by -1, and now it's not
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 16 2021
The Argyle Sweater for the weekend of 4/17/2021-4/18/2021
π︎ 16
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︎ Apr 17 2021
I just turned 18 so now I shouldnβt need my glasses anymore
Iβm still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jun 25 2019
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
π︎ 76
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︎ Dec 29 2020
My son turned 18 and told me not to tell him anymore dad jokes
π︎ 11
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︎ Jun 30 2021
My dad died on 02/19/18, this joke came to me while signing paperwork at the funeral home...
What do they call the best salesman at a funeral home?
The Top Urner
π︎ 11k
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︎ Mar 01 2018
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
π︎ 9k
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︎ Mar 13 2018
Which Clash of Clans troop is under 18 years old?
π︎ 14
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︎ May 18 2021
The other day a cowboy stopped by our house and asked my Dad if he could help him round up 18 cows.
"Sure thing, pardner. That's 20 cows," says Dad.
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︎ May 15 2021
At age 18 I lost both my kidneys...
...from that day in I had adult-neys.
π︎ 33
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︎ Apr 03 2021
The day my daughter turns 18, Iβm going to buy her a locket, put her picture in it, and when she opens it tell her:
βWell, I guess now you really areβ¦ independent"
π︎ 60
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Some giraffe's can grow up to 18 feet.
But most only have four.
Taken from Giraffe Jokes
π︎ 16
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︎ Apr 23 2021
18+
π︎ 24
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︎ Jan 22 2021
If you get hurt before you are 18, itβs just a minor injury.
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 07 2020
How do you make someone do something 18 times in a row?
>!y!< >!o!< >!u!< >!m!< >!a!< >!k!< >!e!< >!t!< >!h!< >!e!< >!m!< >!c!< >!u!< >!r!< >!i!< >!o!< >!u!< >!s!<
π︎ 15
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︎ Oct 19 2020
I finally finished my training film for army commanding officers after more than 18 attempts.
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 15 2021
I went to the casino to play blackjack. The dealer got 21 and I got 18.
It really wasnβt iDEAL.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
An 18 yr old died during a driving test.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 27 2021
Whats the difference between girls/women aged 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78
At 8. You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18. You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28. You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38. She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48. She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58. You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68. If you take her to bed, that will be a story.
At 78. What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you ???
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︎ Dec 19 2020
The going rate is now 18% you Jerks!
π︎ 65
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︎ Jan 28 2020
(WARNING 18+)
π︎ 15k
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︎ Jul 31 2021
Warning: 18+
π︎ 61
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︎ Dec 15 2021
[warning 18+]
π︎ 350
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︎ Feb 16 2021
(WARNING 18+)
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 31 2021
[Warning]: 18++
π︎ 407
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︎ Jul 12 2019
[Warning: 18+]
π︎ 709
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︎ Oct 21 2018
A farmer asked me if I can help him round up 18 sheep
π︎ 170
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︎ Aug 31 2019
Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my picture in it. Guess I really am
π︎ 707
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︎ Oct 03 2016
My son turned 18 today so I bought him a locket and put his picture in it...
I guess you could say I wanted him to be independent!
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︎ Aug 06 2019
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