I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long fence pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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There was a boy..

His name was Josh Buttlicker. Everyone used to make fun of him. On his 10th birthday his dad asked him what he wanted as a gift.

He said β€œI am so sick of everyone making fun of my name and I really want you to change it officially”.

Dad said β€œNo way! This is our family name, which represents our lineage, and I will never do it.”

He tried asking again on his 11, 12th up to his 17th birthday. But his dad denied his wish every time.

Finally on his 18th birthday, he told his dad β€œYou cannot do anything now. I am of legal age and it is my decision!!” He rushed to the court with a lawyer, and completed all the paperwork to change his name legally.

Then he came home, and his dad asked β€œwell, what is it?”

He said β€œDave Buttlicker”.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Transitionals
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Tom absolutely loves tractors

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys were gone with the wind at this point, as Tom spent all his waking hours playing with this one tractor toy.

Fast forward a few years, and Tom's now approaching his 10th birthday, with his love for tractors intact and intensified. His parents discuss what to get for him, and decide that a ride-on tractor to replace his bike is the best gift they can give him.

Tom absolutely loves the gift, and spends all of his time out of school riding around the neighbourhood while his bike collects dust in the garage.

We come forward a few more years, as Tom approaches his 18th birthday, with an only intensified adoration of tractors. His father pulls him aside on the morning of his birthday, saying "Now son, I know that we've promised you a car, but we know what you really want."

He leads him outside, to a brand new tractor with a bow on it, saying that this is his welcome to adulthood.

Tom is beyond excited, and spends the next few months going everywhere in his tractor - grocery trips, bars, classes, friends' houses.....

Again, a few years later, Tom is driving down a back country road, in the middle of nowhere, with his tractor, in the middle of a storm. The tractor breaks down, and with no air conditioning or any form of modern comforts, Tom is in a miserable mood until someone finally comes past for him to flag down for help. After this, Tom realises that although tractors are fun, maybe they're not the best transport method out there.

Tom ages through a few more years, and finds himself driving down another road in the middle of nowhere in his car, and sees a house on fire just off the road. Being a good samaritan, he pulls over and heads up the driveway to a woman running out of the house screaming "Please, help, help! My baby is trapped in there! Go and call 911, please!"

Tom turns around, then, before leaving, has a brainwave.

He turns back and walks towards the flames, saying "Don't worry, ma'am, I've got this."

He takes a deep breath in, and the fire disappears into nothingness. As you'd expect, the woman is in awe, and asks, "Oh my God, how did you do that?!"

Tom simply responds, "Well you see ma'am, I'm an extractor fan."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurarkt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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15+ years later, I realized I was dadjoked by my friends dad...

My name is Andy. At my friend's 10th(ish) birthday party, his dad was writing names on all the cups. Asked me what my name was so I told him, and he wrote down "ND". I thought he was retarded for a while, then forgot about it... until today. Man was I stupid.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hypoxemia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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A love story

There was a little boy who absolutely loved tractors, so for his 3rd birthday, his father bought him a little toy one. The boy thought this was the best toy he had ever gotten, and ignored all his other gifts to focus on the tractor, pushing it around the lounge whenever he got the chance, making tractor noises etc.

As the boy grows a little bit older, he comes to his 10th birthday, when his dad says "Alright son, you're a little older now, so here you go" before giving him a push-along ride-on tractor for their backyard. The boy thinks this is even better than his now quite old toy tractor, and is taking days off school and everything just to ride around the house and neighbourhood on his push-along tractor.

He gets a little older again, and lo and behold, it's now his 18th birthday. His dad comes up to him during the party and says "Ok son, you're a man now, so here you go" before unveiling a fully functional tractor for his son. "Wow, thanks Dad, this is amazing!" says the son, before taking it for a quick test drive. The tractor becomes his main transport, as he goes to the grocery store and just generally cruises in his brand new tractor.

He decides to take the tractor on it's first proper outing, and goes into the middle of nowhere, with no cell service or house to be seen for miles, and the tractor of course breaks down. It takes him a while to get in touch with AAA and his Dad to come and help him out, so he decides after that experience that maybe it would be a better idea to invest in a car than a tractor after all.

Lo and behold, a few years later, the now adult son is driving down the same road in his new car, although there's now a house there that is engulfed in flames! A lady comes out, screaming "Help! Help! Call 911, my baby is trapped inside!" The man simply stops and says "It's ok, mam, I've got this." He takes in a massive gulp of air, and the entire fire just disappears! The lady says "Wow, that's amazing! How did you do that?!" before the man responds with "Well, you see mam, I'm an ex tractor fan."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatchyJosh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

πŸ‘︎ 453
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaolCroi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long fence pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reap268
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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