I entered a dad joke competition and won $1000

It was a grand dad joke

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👤︎ u/huwr
📅︎ Feb 12 2017
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My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?

A hammer.

👍︎ 13k
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👤︎ u/Jeenyus47
📅︎ Dec 21 2020
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I was once in a band called 999 megabytes.

We could never quite get a gig.

Edit: I was aware that it's 1024 Meg to a gig, but "a band called 1023 megabytes" doesn't have the same ring to it. Also doesn't getting the IT wrong make it more dad like?

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👤︎ u/Nickl444
📅︎ Sep 30 2019
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I recently started a band called 999 megabytes.

We're good but we still haven't gotten a gig yet.

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ May 01 2019
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New weights and measures
  1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds17. 52 cards = 1 decacards18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin22. 10 rations = 1 decoration23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Sep 22 2019
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I was paid $1000 for this joke

It was a grand dad joke.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Jihadmin
📅︎ Jul 07 2016
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I entered a dad joke competition for a $1000 prize, but I didn't win.

A grand dad joke won.

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📅︎ Jul 18 2017
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I was paid $1000 for this joke

It was a Great Grand dad joke.

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📅︎ Jul 14 2016
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