What are the strongest days of the week??

Saturday and Sunday...bc the rest are β€œweekdays”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CraZcraaacker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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Having gay parents must be horrible

You either get twice the amount of dad jokes or you get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom."

Edit: On another Sub someone called me a homophobe. I want to say I'm not a homophobe it was simply a light hearted joke. I'm gay myself and wouldn't want to create hate or controversy. So sorry if I offended anyone.

Edit 2: Thanks for giving me my first award.

Edit 3: if you have heard it else where then fine Like this one guy in the comments said "I’ve seen it a few times but no doubt many people haven’t. No reason a good joke can’t be posted bc someone’s posted it in the past."

Edit 4: making too many edits but thanks for the gold kind stranger (And all of them means alot)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantSolar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Why is it easier to take an F-150 across a river than a Silverado?

Bc no one ever Chevy’d a river

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πŸ‘€︎ u/psykotic24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I always wear different colors of Haynes socks

bc their comfort is unmatched.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field...

But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Smile
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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A group of Christian monks want to create a band. What's their name?

AD/BC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sinnaig
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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What would AC/DC be called if they started singing about history?

AD/BC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctureas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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I'm in a time traveling rock band

It's called AD/BC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhilmaxDCSwagger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Heres a good one

Okey so theres a mom cow and her kid at a gym and the shes working on her calf and they’re about to leave but then the baby cow starts rolling on the ground throwing a tantrum [mom cow/mc] Stop rolling on the floor and move! [baby cow/bc]* keeps rolling around crying* [mc] theres a good chance if you dont stop You’ll be grounded beef [bc] realizing the steaks are high he stops rolling around and gets up a manager has seen all of this [manager] Hay mam, just wanted to say you milked the situation on the spot. [mc] she states that this would be a tail to tell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xnuggetz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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Why did the tomato blush?

Bc she saw the salad dressing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowcrab813
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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My wife was texting me about our kid’s behavior today...

https://s15.postimg.cc/ryjmvgj2z/FBB124_EF-_C0_BC-44_D4-_A359-27_F2_A36_F1193.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rarehighfives
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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My friend asked me if I thought every household should have a gun for safety..

I couldn't give an answer right away bc it was a loaded question

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxbrickem
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Keyboard pick up line

I'm font of you bc you're my type ;) Ok don't kill me bye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ozymandiasm8y
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2017
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If the US and Canada cant come to an agreement on NAFTA, we are in trouble. Transfer speeds are going to plummet

Without a US BC connection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glen_Chervin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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Dadjokes At The Supermarket
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h8speech
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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Which historical era did Michael Jackson enjoy more?

A. BC

B. AD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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Grandad joke: paying at a restaurant

After receiving the bill at a restaurant, my grandpa would put his BC Care Card face down so that all you could see was the magnetic stripe.

After trying to run it through a few times, the server would flip the card over and realize his "mistake".

The server would return to the table, embarrassed for this senile old man, and explain that he gave her his Care Card by mistake.

My grandpa would then wink and say "I just wanted to show you I Care."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calikka
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Texting my sister when autocorrect decided to step in

Me: I just go on reddit during my breaks. I find it a good way to pass time on my phone without using heaps of data like tumblr does Sister: That's true.. but I mainly just read fanfics Me: I'm trying to not read fabrics bc I have so many books to read Sister: Lol you read fabrics? Me: Nah, reddit has better threads than fabrics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/childhoodgames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2016
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At my godparents house...

We're watching tv. All of sudden I hear some slapping, my godmother laugh and tell my godfather, "you're so weird". I turn and he says: "you wanted your palm read, so I made it red!"

Laughter.

Then my god mother looks at me and says "why does this remind you of pie" (sticking her hand out) I go, "idk, why" She replies: "Bc its got meringue on it!"

I love them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjleggz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
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Watching Disney's Robin Hood with the kids and my daughter set me up...

Daughter: Maid Marian is pretty for a cartoon.

Me: yeah, she's a fox!

http://images.wikia.com/disney/images/b/bc/Maid-Marian-disney-animal-heroines-12876193-720-480.jpg

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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