LV 1. Pun
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︎ Feb 28 2019
I donβt mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Dude 1: βHey bro?β Dude 2: βYeah bro?β Dude 1: βCan you hand me that pamphlet?β
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What did 2n+1 say to 2n?
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I got gas for $1.19 today!
Unfortunately, it was from Taco Bell.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
There are 2 types of people: 1) people who make inferences over low amounts of information
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︎ Dec 14 2020
The longest I've ever made love for is 1 hour, 2 minutes and 32 seconds...
... I love it when the clocks go forward!
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Do you know why air pumps at gas stations used to be free but are now $1.50?
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Astronaut 1: Isthereaplacewecanhangoutafterwork?
Astronaut 2: Yeah, thereβs a space bar right over there.
Astronaut 1: Great, wanna go after work?
Astronaut 2: Nah, not really; the drinks are great but thereβs no atmosphere...
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife
$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio
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︎ Dec 07 2020
An apple pie in Jamaica is Β£1.50, a cherry pie in Barbados is Β£1.60 and a mince pie in Trinidad is Β£1.80.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
Ill see myself out
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︎ Oct 27 2020
A treeβs wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen
You can call it a chemis-tree
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Good 1 dad
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︎ Aug 13 2020
I walked into a supermarket and saw 1/2 watermelon.....
Why is it i shop at Wholefoods and see this?
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︎ Dec 03 2020
1 Michelin Star
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︎ Oct 25 2020
It's my 1-year Reddit anniversary
Getting karma should be easy as cake
Edit: Itβs a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Do you want to hear 2 short jokes and 1 long joke
Joke
Joke
Joooooooooooooooooooke
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︎ Dec 03 2020
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
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︎ Oct 29 2020
They say 1 in 4 people are Dyslexic and there's 4 people in my office.
It's either Me or Darren or Kevin or Anal.
Its's Anal isnt it.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
My son was about to ask me 1 million questions about everything.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Did you hear about the cow that could produce 1,000 gallons of milk every day?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
The guy with 1 hater then
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Today I will be talking about the Makita 18V Cordless 1/2-Inch Hammer Drive
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Its 1:30 and im drunk, thought this was comical
What did the hispanic who took 2 too many drugs say? Help i think I over(dos)ed
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︎ Oct 28 2020
I said to the baker, "How come all your cakes are 50p & that one's Β£1?"
He said, "That's Madeira cake"
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Always look out for number 1...
Especially when eating snow.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What's the difference between 1 and 2 acres?
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︎ Sep 30 2020
We all know that Dracula is the #1 vampire and from Transylvania. But where is the #2 vampire from?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Man #1: "Sir, would you like a pamphlet about our organization?
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper
And now I'm paying for it.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
1 of the 2 women in my office has cast a spell on me...
I don't know which one is witch ?
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Iβm excited for Jan 1, 2021
Then I can finally say that hindsight is 2020.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.
The odds were against me.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I went to cake shop and all the cakes were Β£1 except one which was Β£3...
I asked the shopkeeper why and he said "That's Madeira cake"
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I had a problem with my anti-virus program, it kept saying I had 1 virus on my computer.
So I deleted the anti-virus and there weren't any problems any more!
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︎ Oct 09 2020
1-800-GET-RICH
If you, or a loved one, wear glasses and are being forced to wear a mask, you may be entitled to condensation.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I started counting from 1.
To continue after 9, I had to put in a lot of effort. It was in tens.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Why isn't 1 allowed to hang out with 0 anymore?
Because 1's mom says 0 is naughty
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︎ Sep 10 2020
Painting my ceiling isn't exactly #1 on my priority list.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
I can never remember the Roman Numerals for 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500...
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︎ Feb 18 2020
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project youβre working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now itβs $1.50. You know why?
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Remember when they used to have air at the gas station for free? Now itβs $1.50
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Air used to be free and now itβs 1.75 you know why?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"
I thought, "I can't turn that down".
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Air used to be free at gas stations, now it's $1.50. Know why?
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
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︎ Apr 12 2020
I got gas today for $1.39.
Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
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