Just got a groan from my girlfriend...

I came in from having a cigarette and while closing the cumbersome sliding glass door I remarked, "Man that door is heavy!"

"I know," she says, "sometimes it pushes me back."

"That's terrible! Has it committed any other crimes against you?" I asked.

"No, but we should still sue it for everything it has though!" she said.

I grinned at her and offered, "It would probably just say it was framed."

She let out a quiet groan and flippantly said, "You're funny"

Edit: words

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
👤︎ u/score_
📅︎ Sep 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend nearly got me today, I nearly fell for it.

Girlfriend: Have you heard of Sin city?

Me: Yeah, the movie?

Girlfriend: Nope, have you heard of Den city?

Me: No stop, I won't let you do this.

Girlfriend: It's mass over volume.

I think I'm in trouble for not letting her finish the joke

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/Goto335
📅︎ Jun 26 2017
🚨︎ report
How mathematicians break up...

Initially inspired by a joke I heard elsewhere on the Internet but I took it a step farther. Hint: there are several hidden puns (at least 6)

Dear Algebra, Stop asking me to find your X. As to the reason she left, we'll never know Y. She probably never fancied your green bra. Maybe it's a sin that she wants a distant relationship. But have no fear, as she spans higher dimensions for true love, she'll look far and wide, for she lives on the edge. She'll soon realize that she's not so significant after all.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/jgbradley1
📅︎ May 19 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.