Daughter: Do we have any more wrapping paper?
Me: Nope, mom used the last of it. You'll have to use hip-hopping paper instead.
My friend gave me a procrastination test for Christmas last year, still haven’t done it
I found this on a christmas card, and as someone that loves dad jokes more than life itself, here is goes
"What does Santa say when he walks backwards?"
"OH OH OH!"
But as they say, 'tis the season
Start praying man, ‘tis the season.
We were preparing steaks to grill with her family for dinner. As we are tenderizing the meat, she asks me to grab the spices. As I open the cabinet, I grab the spices and exclaim "Ah, tis' the seasoning!"
She did not find it as amusing as I did.
My daughter was happily singing "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" in the bath, for 'tis the season. My wife returned home and from downstairs called "I can hear some beautiful singing from somewhere!"
Me: "Yes, I think we have a siren in the bath!"
Daughter, without skipping a beat: "Nee naa, nee naa, nee naa!"
I work in a kitchen, and we just got a new load of chicken seasoning in when I turned to my coworker and said, "'Tis the seasoning!" When he groaned I said, "I thought you liked topical humor."
I didn't have another good one when groaned after that.
Tis the season for stories about the Grinch and Whoville. Last night my daughter, 10, asked why Dr. Seuss didn't write any more stories about Whoville, to which I replied that there was a story about their baseball team, but everyone played first base.
