Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beerbellybegone
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Some guys are talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one of the friends say "I sit down when I pee"

Another friend proceeds to curse and weep at the first friend yelling "I though you were a stand-up guy!"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarfbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."

"No Shit."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawntheShiba
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I was standing at the urinals

when a fella stepped up to the short one next to me and said, β€œI’ve never seen one of these so low!” To which I replied, β€œand you can finally pee in comfort, right?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinals

It makes them soggy and hard to light

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChangeNew389
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
When you're at the urinals, it doesn't matter of you're French, German, Spanish or Swedish

European

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".

It's topical and stuff

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulphicles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Being 6 ft apart while using urinals

Is considered social pisstancing

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Lines for urinals have become an increasing problem in containing the coronavirus.

So mind your pees in queues.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.

Repeatedly shouting β€œLet that sink in!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciceromilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
urinal cakes
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCommonersLife
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A fly landed on the edge of a urinal and fell in.

He got pissed off.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juevolitos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?

A Pee h.D.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johngreenink
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?

Because it’s where all the dicks hang out

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kcomix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I look at guys using adjacent urinals.

I peer peer peers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzarrow9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?

Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.

I guess you had to pee there.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure

:)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirstycrow123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the inventor of the urinal was only a child?

He was a real wizz kid.

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karibil_Watar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad walked by me at the urinal....

"Is this where all the dicks hangout?"

Goddamn it.

πŸ‘︎ 902
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonzo48280
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
🚨︎ report
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?

β€œUrine!”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theashtonjay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Guy gets arrested for fighting a urinal

I guess he was pissed off

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/txnt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
NEWS ITEM: "Pope raises all the Vatican urinals."

He wants to keep the Cardinals on their toes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does it cost $1 to use the urinal at the Department of Homeland Security?

If you pee something, pay something.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fubo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...

Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neelandrewp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...

It’s always taking the piss.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshingram
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report
The urinals were broken at my dad's work

He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom.

When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaronr93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Walked into a stadium bathroom with a wall of urinals and no toilets. Dad says "standing room only"
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bootnuts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Urine-nation would be a great name for urinal installation company
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is there a penny in the urinal?

It's a centipede.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xechorizo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Urinal out of order

Dad walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.

"Man... it's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order...."

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProphetOfNothing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2015
🚨︎ report
The man at the urinal next to me asked me if my penis burned when I urinated...

I told him, "I don't know... I never tried to light it"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiniUSB
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2013
🚨︎ report
At the urinal in the men's room...

"I've heard that this is where all the dicks hang out"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-am-pyro
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Urinal Dad Jokes

My family was going out to dinner one night at a nice steakhouse, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. As I walked up to a urinal, I saw my dad walk to the urinal beside me. We both got down to business, my dad said "So this is where all the dicks hang out huh?" then finished up and left. I couldn't make eye contact with my father for the rest of the night....

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LurkingTurkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
🚨︎ report
said while standing at a urinal with fellow pee-ers...

"water's a bit nippy, eh?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allthewaylive215
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beerbellybegone
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report

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