Friend sent me a timelapse of her folding cardboard boxes, this is how it went.
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pauu3r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"

"A person always wins!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.

Now I have salmonella.

(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eriknobeats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A poker player would never make any money if he sat in a folding chair.
  • My dad.
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/resmungomandinga
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a bicycle by folding up some paper in my desk drawer. It doesn't move though - it's a stationery bike.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you keep a paper from folding?

You keep it in a folder

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarbonatedGames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were folding sheets...

She said "This one's queen. It goes in the guest room."

"Of course it's queen, it just came out of the wash!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drumlogan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
🚨︎ report
My uncle told me one that has me folding over

He made an okay sign with this hand and said "I bet you I can push my head through this hole." And he started to push his head on the hole, struggling to get it through and then he stuck his finger through the circle and pushed his head. The room groaned and I died laughing

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elcielo17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? No?

You don’t know what you’re missing.

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Archer_Boy9
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do soccer referees never fold in poker?

Because they always call the flop.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sabrina-Hummus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
An actual conversation between my wife and my son yesterday.

My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."

My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."

I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinit9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you fold a piece of junk mail into a paper airplane?

A flier.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why isn't there an Apple iPhone Fold?

Because Apple don't want iPhone to be afoldable.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rawkmaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Dwayne Johnson is a master of origami...

As his apprentice, I once assisted him at an exhibition and managed to lose the cutting implement he uses to prepare the paper for folding. I can’t believe I lost The Rock’s Paper Scissors.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I caught my wife with another man

Some stories have hooks.

This story has a bloody good one.

It's about loveβ€”

Or at least marriage.

My marriage.

At heart, it's your typical fish out of water story, but like I said there's a hook.

The hook's in the beginning.

Although it's really the tail end that's most movingβ€”at least now, when our love's drying up.

Understand:

I'm a fisherman, and I caught my wife with another man.

Well, I caught the man first.

I used Craigslist.

But I suppose the details don't really matter. It's enough to know that by the time he was naked in the shed it was too late for him to change his mind.

He broke down easily. He wasn't particularly thick skinned.

That's where the hook came inβ€”

pushed through a fold of flesh on his back.

He wasn't much in the size department, but I didn't intend for him to get hung up on it. Unfortunately, he kept trying to escape, so what choice did I have? Then he seemed quite insecure, so I pierced him with another steel hook just in case.

Like I said:

Bloody good hook.

After he stopped struggling, I took him down and dragged him to my boat. Then we went fishing.

Hold on, though.

I may need to backtrack a little, because you may be wondering how I even knew she was out there.

The answer is: I'd already seen her swimming a few times.

It was love at first sight.

Like many couples nowadays we met on the net.

So back to when I was fishing:

I was in my boat with the Craigslist man with the steel hooks in his back. I had tied a thick rope to one of the hooks, placed the man onto a net, and pushed them both overboard. He splashed and choked, attracting a lot of attention.

I waited for her call.

It came.

She sounded so near to me.

When she swam just close enough to the Craigslist man in the water, I pulled in the netβ€”and there she was: shining, mine to the gills and writhing so enticingly!

I took her ashore.

I placed her in a water tank and told her she would be my wife.

I screwed herβ€”

shut.

For days I watched her bangβ€”

on the glass.

Until one day it happened: the glass cracked, the tank broke open, and with the water she spilled onto the floor.

Now here I am, watching my marriage fall apart.

Her gills are barely stirring.

Her face: dry and still.

It's only her scaly tail that's still gently moving.

I caught my wife with another man. I met her on the net. I thought our love would last forever, but now, listening to her shriek, I realize I was catfished! I wanted to marry a sirenβ€”but this thing is nothing

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/normancrane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t make an origami belt.

It’s a waist of paper.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Have You Ever Tried to Fold a Fitted Sheet?

It's pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calicorpse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I folded a receipt into a row boat but got a sale boat instead.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tatanka_truck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Watched the origami world championships last night,

It was on pay-per-view.

Bit of a scam though,

Both teams folded.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BathToaster99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the folds of an artist’s brain?

Michelangelobes

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cripps96
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.

Eventually, I folded.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
During quarantine I taught myself origami...

I’ve in-creased my output ten fold...

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bradley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
hurts me like a papercut
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...

We called her Auntie Up.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A shot in the dark
πŸ‘︎ 604
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a magician who can fold even the highest-quality guitars in half.

He's known as "the Fender bender".

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
For dessert the waiter brought me tiramisu and a small, blind-folded horse

I said β€œno, mascarpone!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/battshooot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Do competitive origami artists fold under pressure?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Ben Folds: β€œShe’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly”
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hippomaster6000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I WAS on top of the laundry. Then my wife had to ruin everything and tell me to fold it like I promised and stop lying on it while I watch TV.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Poker player after taking laundry out of the dryer - "I fold"
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentPlastic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard they were going to broadcast the World Origami Championships this weekend since so many sports are cancelled

Too bad it’s Payperview

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend started winning at poker after he was more patient and folded less...

He became a better bettor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Samsung refuses to unfold the reasons behind broken Galaxy Fold

Because they shouldn’t be unveiled

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MogolianShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I put my chips on the table knowing that she was about to fold.

She said "Move your dinner whilst I sort these clothes out."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I just bought a sofa that can fold out or recline.

I guess that makes it bi-sectional.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reefay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
With the lack of sports on television, networks are going to show the world origami championship.

It’ll be on paper view.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I once went to work drunk and put too many double or multiple folds in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching at the top or side.

It was replete with pleats.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I fold my weekly salary like pairs of pants...

The project is income pleat.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events canceled, they’re going to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if Ben Folds Five was related to Ben Ten.

I think they're half brothers.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SStyfle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
You're giving me the folds from the legs of your jeans to decorate my diary with?

That's a turn-up for the books.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
🚨︎ report
I folded a receipt into a row boat but got a sale boat instead. β€’ r/mildlyinteresting
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tatanka_truck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
You can now watch the World Origami Championship on tv since all these other sports are being cancelled.

It’s on paper view.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I hated my job as an origami teacher

Too much paperwork

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you ever tried blind folded archery?

You don't know what you're missing

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trappens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job of making a double or multiple fold in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching the top or side.

I was de-pleated.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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