Hugh probably know him by Jackman
Huge jack men
Cuz the movies all about mute-asians....(mutations)... geddit?
Because Prof. X made him a supervisor.
Per-mutations.
It was Marvelous!
Because he always steels the show.
Me: what did you think about the movie? Dad: It was X-traordinary facepalm (5 second wait) It X-ceeded my X-pectations Me: Stop! Dad: All in all quite X-cellent
It was Hughnanimous.
Walking out of the theater I said, "All I have to say about Hugh Jackman is that his name is accurate. He was jacked, man!" My dad looks over at me, confused. He goes, "What are Hugh talking about?" Laughs were had.
So last night we were watching the first X-Men. When Wolverine first wakes up in the manor and is trying to escape, the elevator door opens and I say "hey look, he found the X-it.". Groans and eyerollings all around.
Daughter: pseudo-complaining that she keeps getting requests to see it, "everyone keeps taking her."
Me: "Are you saying she's gone Rogue?"
He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "¡Eso sí que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you can’t do that. That dog’ll bite you.
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
Raw men noodles.
Three men go camping in the wilderness; a German, an Italian and a Czechoslovakian. While asleep, their campsite is attacked by a couple of bears and all 3 men are presumed killed. Forest Rangers get deployed to find the missing campers. After inspecting the campsite, the Rangers discover the bear tracks and follow them to the den. Inside are the 2 bears, a male and a female, which the Rangers quickly kill. First, they opened the stomach of the female and inside were the remains of the German and Italian men.
"Looks like our work here is done," the lead Ranger says to his partner.
"But we only found 2 bodies!" The partner cries back.
The Ranger removes his sunglasses and looks vacantly into the distance before finally telling his partner:
"Clearly the Czech is in the male."
...he pretends to be a patient and when the doctor it's him down he says:
DR: how can I help? Cop: Well I'm actually here because you're in trouble DR: Don't worry sir, most men your age suffer urine trouble!
They both grind men's bones to make bread
They are real Marx-men
Because men can't breastfeed.
BadMenTon
The street performer notices the four men are very far to the back and cannot see, so he stands on a box and continues his performance while asking, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."
Good Tie-dings to all men!
They prefer raw men.
(ramen).
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”
They are all ex men
Man: Can I see the menu please?
Waiter: The men I please are none of your business.
They needed 3 wise men and a virgin
For the wise men once said: Don't fear the Reaper
They could call it "The Fast and the Furious."
Because some men just want to watch the world turn.
It's something that a hundred men or more could never do...
The Four Whore’s Men of the Apocalypse
Aren’t men allowed to laugh?
Raw-men!
It was Marvelous
Because they prefer raw men.
They both grind men’s bones to make their bread.
