Have you heard that story about the dog who went 200 miles to retrieve a stick?
How can you tell that cats are smarter than dogs?
You'd never get 8 cats to pull a heavy sled through snow.
My vet picked up my dog, looked at him and confirmed that he was cross-eyed and that he had to be put down.
Confused and upset, I asked why.
The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.
I was talking to my neighbor's wife and she told me that her dog had bit her husband, so they had to put him down.
Then she asked if I could take out the trash weekly.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...
He's a got a faux pas now
Two original dad jokes for you that involve our dog Habibi
Our new puppy is named Habibi but we all call her Bibi for short. Here are two real dad jokes I've told about her in the past few weeks:
- What do you call it when Bibi eats one of the Star Wars toys?
Bibi ate
- What do you call it when Bibi shoots out tiny poop pellets instead of her normal poops?
Bibi gun
Thank you, thank you. bows
I adopted a dog that was owned by a blacksmith.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door
What do you call a dog that likes laps?
I had a dog named Trump that I had to take back to the shelter
Yesterday I went to a zoo that only had a dog there.
A sheep dog tells her owner she found all fifty sheep. Her owner says that there should only be 46
The dog says, “but I rounded them up.”
The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit the Corona Virus and should not be quarantined any longer.
W.H.O. Lets the dogs out!
A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
Wtf??? My dogs don't even own bikes
The World Health Organizatuon has discovered that Coronavirus cannot be transmitted between dogs and humans. They have released all quarantined dogs.
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?
They needed a new branch manager.
What do you you call a dog that works in roofing
What do you call a group of dogs that don’t laugh at your jokes?
I just found out that dogs and trees can communicate with each other
Talking sheep dog: that's all 50 sheep!
Farmer: wait, we should only have 46!
Dog: yeah, I rounded em up
What do you call a crime fighting dog that can swim underwater?
Did you know that dogs can’t use MRI’s?
I once went to a zoo that only had one dog
What do you call a dog that mediates soccer games?
I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
Somebody was giving me a synopsis of their fan fic that includes a killer clown, a talking dog, and a flying house and at the end they said
I have a dog named Well Enough that bites...
Don’t try to pet him, leave well enough alone.
What do you call a dog that floats fine?
I had a really disappointing visit to the zoo. They only had one animal, and that was only a dog.
The World Health Organization has determined that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. All dogs being held in quarantine will be released.
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
What do you call a storm that’s raining cats and dogs?
My neighbour said he'd look after my dog if I accepted the fact that he's currently dating a punctuation mark.
went to a wildlife park that only had a little, hairy dog..
My uncle's wife started a pet store that specialized in one breed of dog only...
She closed due to terrier-able sales.
My friend said that stray dogs have no masters.
I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.
What do you call a dog that does magic?
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
What do you call a dog that does magic?
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
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