My children are 17 and 14 respectively, and I’m hoping the fact that they’re teenagers is the reason for their incredibly shitty behavior.
My husband, before he met me, had a wife and a newborn baby that passed away in Canada due to hazardous road conditions that resulted in a 4 car smash up. No one was at fault, it was a horrific disaster, and my husband was devastated as a result and fell into alcoholism to cope.
I had my own trauma from the past, and similarly turned to alcoholism to cope. It was at an AA meeting where we met, 20 years ago almost to the day now, and we slowly started to heal together here in the US.
I have always been incredibly respectful of my husbands last wife and child. I like to joke that I’m keeping her seat warm until my husband enters heaven. I’ve had too much loss and hurt in my life to feel jealousy like this, and tbh- I am so damaged that I just feel lucky that I got to actually feel love in this world and that my husband could open his beautiful heart to me.
We had two children- two sons. We’d never told them about my husbands wife or baby, because it’s a part of my husbands life that he keeps under lock and key. He has never healed from his grief, and therapy etc has helped him only to a degree.
My mother in law told the kids this Sunday gone, as she decided it was ‘time for them to know’. She didn’t consult us before telling them, and certainly didn’t do it in our presence.
Since then my sons have been making the most disgusting dead baby jokes, they’ve been prodding their dad asking why we’d never told them, and instead of approaching the topic with respect they’re acting like we’ve kept a secret affair family from them or something.
My 14 y/o went on to say to me in private, thank goodness not in front of his father, that he was glad my husbands previous family was dead. I broke and yelled at him, and told him it was the most disgusting thing I’d ever heard him say. I asked where his anger was coming from, and he burst forth that we were shitty parents for keeping secrets.
He told me that it made ‘so much sense’ why we were abnormal, why we don’t drink, why we are so boring and quiet, why my husband is panicky around roads, etc.
the two are pretty heartbroken, and I feel like we have just destroyed a part of our children’s lives as a result of us staying quiet. I am hurting, my husband is grieving all over again, and I don’t know how to proceed. I have and will always reiterate to our kids that they
... keep reading on reddit ➡
It is beyond comical at this point for anyone to attempt to validate JJD’s “celebrity status” by the amount of followers she boasts on Instagram. For those in denial: she.buys.followers.
Been doing this for years. Had several things in my house replaced no questions asked since I still had proof of my original purchase.
More from Von on Nelson:
“He’s just a mean guy. He’s just a mean guy, and you can see it on film. You don’t even have to talk to him, you don’t have to have any conversations. You can see it in his play that he’s just a tough, mean offensive lineman. The type of offensive lineman that you respect without even meeting them.”
https://twitter.com/nickijhabvala/status/1187442833436893184?s=21
Seriously, I see this misconception repeated so much all over the internet. A lot of people really believe a therapist would just turn them away. By no means do you have to be "obviously" mentally ill to seek help. Depression and mental illnesses have many ways of manifesting.
I am here to tell you that any therapist, counsellor, psychologist etc that turns away or belittles someone that comes to them saying they're depressed should lose their job.
The DSM has the criteria that therapy is a good option when social, work, or personal life is impaired by symptoms. Even if you get good marks at school or perform good work, the feeling of drowning or struggling is an indicator of impairment, and can often lead to burnout. Managing well on external indicators says nothing about what's going on internally.
Symptoms for depression can include feelings of anhedonia (loss of ability to feel pleasure), over or under sleeping, unexplained weight changes, declining to maintain social relationships, and a host of other things. If you suspect it is affecting you, there's a good chance you are right.
So hopefully someone sees this post, bites the bullet, and finally sees the therapist they've been thinking about. It is very common to spend a long time 'screwing up the courage', but please definitely go sooner rather than later.
Good luck and good health to anyone out there struggling.
Edit: okay, so in Germany we refer to each other with last names and don't overuse it in a 'so, branda...'-way. It's obviously not as common here.
