Mueller establishes that the *whole Seth Rich storyline* concocted by WikiLeaks—pushed by Sean Hannity—was a *concerted* effort by WikiLeaks to *hide* that it was working with Russian military intelligence. Going to break from lawspeak a moment and say Assange is hosed.
twitter.com/SethAbramson/…
E-Privacy 2009: Towards Global Control - A recipe written after Florence convention - From lawspeak to ZRTP
sindro.me/2009/5/28/e-pri…
What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A mosquito can fly but a fly can't mosquito.
My 11 year old daughter told me this one this evening lol.
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Whats the best time on a clock?
I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.
I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
My wife is constantly changing her name, but gets mad at me when I call her the new name.
Sometimes it's hungry, sometimes it's tired, sometimes it's angry. Please help.
A pirate walks into a bar and it was at that moment that he realized that his patch was on the wrong eye.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
What’s the Fastest Growing City on Earth?
The capital of Ireland.
It’s Dublin every day.
Just got the perfect tool for making a good indian flat bread
What's the difference between a poorly dressed monkey on a tricycle and a well-dressed monkey on a bicycle?
What do you call the Mandalorian's partner?
Co-Mando.
(Credit to my girlfriend)
The store near me is having a sale on batteries.
If you buy two packs, they'll throw in a pack of dead ones, free of charge.
Dad jokes are the best and here's why
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: “sir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied “oh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
TIL the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker?
he won the no-bell prize!
When you realise that the shovel was literally a groundbreaking invention
"Dad can you take your prosthetic off the table?"
"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."
(my actual amputee father)
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.
The work on Big Ben is meant to take 3 years.
That's a long time considering they're working around the clock.
Ah! You fell for one of the classic blunders!
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.
I asked the baker if it was hard cutting the cake into equal slices
He said, "It's a piece of cake!"
Where is the GYM located at Hogwarts?
Right through the Dumbell Door
He was renting the Tardis all along
"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
What’s the difference between a guy with formal wear on a bicycle and a guy with casual wear on a unicycle?
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons.
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
A good romance starts with a good friendship. A bad romance on the other hand starts with...
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?
What’s the 9 letters of the pirate alphabet? (CORNY ALERT)
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
How do you get to the weight room at Hogwarts?
Did you know the people in Dubai don’t like the flinstones...
But the people in Abu Dhabi Do
Why was the cat afraid of the tree
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