A young boy and an old man are walking through the woods at night. The boy tells the man: "I'm scared. It's really dark and spooky out here."

The old man replies, "YOU'RE scared?! I'm the one that has to walk back alone!"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weebado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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I’m worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground...

She immediately raised it above her head and said, β€œThis is a stick up!”

(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiguelPopsicle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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An old guy and a young guy were pushing their carts at Home Depot when they collided. The old guy says to the young guy, β€œSorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, β€œThat’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”

The old guy says, β€œWell maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, β€œShe is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”

The old guy says, β€œDoesn't matter, let’s look for yours.”

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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I’m middle aged and broke, but I think a young coworker is hitting on me.

I suspect she wants me to be her sugar free daddy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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While at Weinerschnitzel a young man who was clearly stoned stepped behind me in line. She wore a shirt that read "I'm just saying you've never seen me and Batman in the same room before."

Before he ordered I turned to him and said "I'm just saying you've never seen a dinosaur and a hotdog in the same room before." The look on his face was priceless

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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