Did you know about the guy who got sued for never paying for WinRAR?
Heard he's still on trial
A cat would never let you know what their favorite tree is...
Do you know why you’ll never go hungry at the beach?
Because of the sand which is there.
You know why you never see pigs in Hollywood?
Cause they always give hammy performances.
You know a Lion would never play golf.
You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
Did you know vampires are suckers for deals? What do you call a vampire who uses coupons? Discount. What's a vampires favorite currency? Bite coin. The only kind of bank a vampire trusts is a blood bank. They still never make deposits.
Inspired by a recent post.
Did you know that trash collectors never actually receive any official training?
They usually just pick it up as they go.
Did you know that the inventor of the ferris wheel never met the inventor of the merry-go-round?
They ran in different circles
Do you know why you never kiss anyone at a funeral?
They always have mourning breath.
You never know how good the job of a baker is….
Until you kneed some dough.
You know why crabs never share their food?
Because they're shellfish.
Do you know why blind people can never be happy?
It's because they're always in a dark place.
Did you know old truckers never die…
They just get a new Peterbilt
It might interest you to know that French Fries have never even been made in France.
They've only ever been made in Greece.
Did you know dolphins never make mistakes?
They do everything on porpoise.
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
Better get that 60+ sonblock on, you never know
Even though I've never met you, I know how to spell your name. Do you want to know how?
You know, owls never go on a date if it's raining.
You know why you never hear any good steak jokes?
It's a rare medium, well-done
Did you know that ants never get sick?
It's because they have little Anty Bodies
Do you know why monks never leave a party?
They’re always thinking “NahImmaStay”
Did you know that Stalin never said thank you throughout his whole life
That’s because he didn’t speak English
You know why just the head of a statue never sells well?
Because it's just a bust.
Did you know a keyboard never sleeps?
It's because it has two shifts.
You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow
Do you know why Bruce Lee never liked vegetables
He was always bullied by his cousin broccolee
Do you know why Bigfoot has never been found?
Because finding him is no small feat. 😂😂😂
Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?
He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis
Do you know why someone with ADHD could never be a train conductor?
They always lose their train of thought
Do you know why you never see two doctors in the same place/time?
You never see it because it would be a pair o' docs. (Paradox)
A wise man once told me "Kid there are two rules of business and life. One is never tell anyone everything you know..."
You know that expression "a watched pot never boils"?
Because when you watch it, you put it under pressure!
A condom manufacturer kept getting criticized because its new gimmicks never did anything for women. So they did what any good company would do and went to the most knowledgeable frog in the world for advice. You know what the frog said?
You never know what it’s s gonna do. It’s a bold one
Do you know why you have never seen a sedated duck?
Because they don’t take downers....
They smoke quack
Did you know you can never run in a campground? You can only ran.
You know why I never buy velcro
Because its a rip off! badum tshh
You know, i never actually met my real ladder...
Know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree?
They're really good at it...
You know why you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
Do you know that ants never get sick?
It's because they have anty bodies.
If anyone here doesn't yet know..why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are really really good at it!
Did you know the keyboard never sleeps
Because it has two shifts
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