you know what drives old people up the wall?
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︎ Mar 08 2021
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
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︎ Nov 02 2020
You know what drives everybody up the wall?
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︎ Mar 08 2021
How do you drive a baby buggy?
How do you drive a baby buggy?
You tickle it's feet! :D
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︎ Feb 23 2021
Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?
Just look at that escargo.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What happens when you drive a Subaru in reverse?
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︎ Dec 13 2020
You could say their drive is going swimmingly
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What do you call a pig that can't drive?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you call a cow that has just learned to drive?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said β sir Iβm going to have to put you under arrest.β The guy then said
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I was pulled over by the police. The officer said "According to your license you should be wearing glasses when you drive"
I said no, it's okay I have Contacts
He said "I don't give a damn who you think you know"
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︎ Jul 17 2020
It was raining this morning and my wife had to drive right past where I work, so I said 'Will you give me a lift?'
She said 'Have you lost weight? Nice shirt, by the way, and your hair looks fantastic.'
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︎ Oct 08 2020
I Guess the Steaks are High When You Drive Down This Road
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︎ Jun 19 2020
Every time i drive over a railroad crossing I say there's been a train through here recently do you know how I can tell?
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︎ Sep 07 2020
What do you call a drive full of sorted data?
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︎ Aug 02 2020
You know what drives me nuts?
Blue diamond delivery trucks.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
If you had a Delorean would you drive it a lot or....
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Did you know my dad drive a truck for 30 years?
He was bad with directions.
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︎ Feb 27 2020
In car earlier with wife, daughter, parents. We drive by a cemetery. My dad says βyou guys know how many people are dead in there?β
In unison dead pan my wife and mother: βall of themβ
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︎ May 19 2020
What car do you use to drive your parents?
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︎ Mar 13 2020
I donβt test drive cars because of the βyou break it you bought it.β Policy.
I mean braking is the only way to stop the vehicle.
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︎ Mar 28 2020
You know what drives everybody's nuts...
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︎ Apr 21 2020
I'm very proud of my latest work. To make good puns, you need to have the drive
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︎ Aug 04 2019
βWould you like your tires rotated sir?β Dad: βIβm pretty sure they rotate when I drive buddy, haha.β
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︎ Aug 26 2019
Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car
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︎ May 19 2019
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
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︎ Oct 26 2019
You can only drive it on sundaes
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︎ May 31 2019
I went to a motivation conference and the speaker asked the audience, "What drives you?"
I put my hand up and answered, "My car."
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︎ Nov 09 2019
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?
Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
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︎ Oct 15 2019
If you want to learn to drive a train...
You need to go through some training.
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Irish you didn't text and drive.
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︎ Mar 18 2019
"Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, 'Do you know why I canβt be buried there?' And we all say, 'Why not?' And he says, 'Because Iβm not dead yet!'β
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︎ Mar 20 2019
If you could drive a painting how fast would it go?
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︎ May 04 2019
Kia announces new car you can drive with your phone!!!!!
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︎ Jun 11 2018
You know what drives me nuts?
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︎ Jun 13 2020
To kill a French Vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart
Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
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︎ Jan 03 2020
How do you drive a cow?
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︎ Feb 28 2019
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
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︎ Oct 27 2019
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
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︎ Oct 08 2019
If you bought a Delorean would you drive it a lot or...
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︎ May 06 2019
Do you have to go to school to drive a train? or do they just TRAIN you on the job?
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︎ Apr 15 2019
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