I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐
It really does, I swear!
Getting a criminal background check for an employer.
I needed to get a criminal background check (ๆ ็ฏ็ฝช่ฎฐๅฝ่ฏๆ) in Beijing for a new employer in 2021. After conducting a lot of research both in Chinese and English, I figured out something that worked for me. There was a lot of outdated and contradictory information out there, so I have written it all here to help anyone who was in my situation.
This is only STEP ONE! -- I still need to receive my background check and get it notarized. I'll update this post at a later time after completing that step.
DOCUMENTS
- - Photocopies of all passport pages
Residence permit
Entry and exit stamps
Just photocopy everything - Photocopy of work permit card
I'm not sure if this one is required, since it wasn't asked for on a few lists, but I brought it anyway and they took it. - Temporary residence registration
This is the thing that the police dept gives you. - - Letter of authorization
This is a letter your employer must give you. The police WON'T do a background check unless you can PROVE that somebody in China wants it.
Bring these documents to a Beijing Public Security Bureau (ๅไบฌๅ ฌๅฎๅๅฑ็ๅบๅ ฅๅข็ฎก็ๅฑ). This was not the place in Beijing that issued my residence permit, but somewere else. For a full list of Beijing addresses, see list at the bottom of the post.
FAQ
Q: I haven't been in Beijing longer than 6 months. Can I get a background check?
A: Sorry, you can't.
Q: I was in Beijing longer than six months, but left frequently. Does it need to be a consistent six months?
A: From what I understand, it needs to be a consistent six months at some point. I have been in Beijing for years, but recently was traveling, and it was not a full six months since I received my most recent visa. They gave me a hard time and asked me why I left China.
Q: I don't have my old passport with my old resident permits/visas. Do they need them for the background check?
A: They need the passport if you need the check for that period of time. I didn't have my old passport, but my new one already had 3 years of visas, so they are doing a back on those three years.
Q: I don't have my temporary residence registrations from the police department.
A: I couldn't find my old ones, but I had my most recent one from when I re-entered the country very recently. This was enough, and they looked up the rest on their computer.
ADDRESSES in Beijing
(These addresses were RECENTLY correct, but please do your own
... keep reading on reddit โกTheyโre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
Why
Itโs pronounced โNoel.โ
It was about a weak back.
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
Where ever you left it ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คญ
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
