Xiaolangdi Dam Puns

Music

China must perish.

Not because it has committed unspeakable horrors,

China must burn,

Not because it has earned the ire of most of the world,

China must be destroyed, because the Aesir wills it.

Freyja, the Commander of Imperial High Command, shall personally carry out the Aesir’s holy will. Overseeing the largest naval deployment in imperial history, her initial task will be the destruction of most of the Chinese fleet.

With it out of the way, Myanmar will be open to invasion.

As China burns, Imperial forces around the world will remain on high alert. The likelihood of a sneak attack on Alfheimr remains high. Albeit, it is expected that other countries will be content to see China and Alfheimr killing each other. They are likely to take advantage of the carnage to prey on the former, potentially dulling what gains Alfheim might gain. Their greed will earn them the ire of the Alfr, and they will pay in time.

However, that time is not now.

It will be known to history that it was the Álfr who kicked down the front door and destroyed a decrepit civilization that lasted for thousands of years. The bones of the dead will serve as a stepping stone towards our ascendence.

The Black Crusade begins.

##Phase 1 - Brief synopsis

The Great Imperial Fleet will be formed and led by the Commander (Advanced zettabyte supercomputer ai designed for war), who will personally oversee the entire invasion of China.

Given the severity of the situation, most assets in the Imperial Navy will be utilized for this legendary effort.

The Grand Imperial Fleet will gather at Socotra, which is by far the largest naval base and supply depot in the Indian Ocean.

Logistical assets will be concentrated heavily in Socotra, albeit supply routes will be arranged with Pakistan via RIGS.

Deployed amphibious assault assets from Europe will also boast an entire marine division. They will be assisted by airlifted assets during potential invasions. However, that phase is for another time.

##Grand Imperial Fleet

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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

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