A list of puns related to "X Press 2"
Because you shouldn't press your luck!
I’ve just received a phone call saying I’ve won £250 or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show, then it said just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.
Has anyone else had this?!
It is "soda pressing".
Until I fell in a printing press.
His job was soda pressing.
Too many pressing issues and no way to de crease the number of suits against us.
But it was soda pressing
In a press conference he said “I am not 0K”
There was no eggs-press lane!
Because it was soda-pressing.
Until I fell into a printing press.
The Constitution guarantees the Freedom of the Press!
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
He was soda pressed.
Because his job is Soda pressing
It was soda-pressing.
Because it was soda pressing.
It’s soda pressing
It was very deer-pressing...
At the press conference, when they ask me what the team name is, I’ll say, “it’s not the Heat. It’s the Humidity.”
(Credit to Brian Regan)
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”
“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.
“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.
“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.
A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”
“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.
Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”
“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”
“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.
And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”
Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.
What else have you got?
Pie nipple ex-press
I didn't mind. I love coffee from the French Press.
They press paws.
(My kids gave this joke zero stars but my dogs think it’s fantastic)
Press the paws button.
That was soda pressing.
It says, " Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...."
Because you shouldn’t press your luck.
Then it said just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show
You shouldn't press your luck
You don't want to press your luck.
It's soda pressing.
Tomorrow they will give a special press conference
It’s soda pressing
Its soda pressing.
Because it was soda pressing.
Why did the soda crusher quit his job?
. . . It was soda pressing!
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