West Side Story is actually connected to Spider Man because there are many stories about Spider Man climbing many stories in the West Side of New York.
What's the difference between New York and Florida?
Well it's hard to compare apples and oranges...
When I lived in New York, my bike got stolen at least once a year
What do you call the New York Knicks in winter?
Me and my friends were driving from New Jersey to New York through the Lincoln Tunnel. My wrist hurt once we were out
The doctor said it was Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
"A small herd of donkeys just escaped from the Bronx Zoo, in New York!"
Cops are setting up a perimeter around the five burros, as we speak.
If someone from New York is a New Yorker,
Then someone from Hamburg is a Hamburger
If New York is so proud of their pizza, and so good at making bagels,
Why do we never hear about amazing New York pizza bagels?
It is said that King Kong was found by the British in Kowloon in 1934, having escaped from New York.
They treated him nicely, but he escaped anyway and killed a bunch of their people.
So they Hong Kong.
I got a call from a friend, he said that he was in the hospital for eating too many copies of the New York Times.
The news was really hard to swallow.
Here’s a positive post for the new year
Did you know a clutch of chickens was at Woodstock?
Big fans of Jimmy Hen-dricks they were.
New York New York
A town so nice that they named it twice
I soup-ose its technically news
My new job requires me to lift heavy boxes, but I'm not strong enough.
I'm gonna have to turn in my too-weak notice.
Just downloaded the Woodstock movie.
One day I want to open an Italian restaurant in New York for amnesiacs
It'll be called 'Spageddaboutit'
I’m sick of all NSEW jokes on here
I think it’s time to move in a new direction.
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her new Christmas present teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
My new sweater had a problem with static so I returned it.
They gave me a new one free of charge.
Did I tell you about my new lumberjack friend?
He knows exactly how many trees he's cut down. Because he keeps a log.
My co workers can’t stand working with me at the sperm bank because every time a new customer walks in I can’t help but say
Please drop your best one-liner dad jokes below, I need new ones.
By one-liner I mean something along the lines of “let’s make like an Autobot and roll out” or “put an egg in your shoe and beat it”
Breaking news from Wuhan: Widespread attacks on locals by large black-and-white bears.
Authorities fear a pandamic.
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
My fart just wiped out half of new York.
It was a weapon of ass destruction
I received the same newspaper from New York that I got yesterday!
You think the Omicron variant is bad?
Because the next one will be 3.14 times worse.
Every 20 minutes a man in New York gets robbed.
T-Rex: Look, honey... I think you should come to New York with me.
I can’t see you if you don’t move.
[Announcement] New pun-related subreddit! r/CountryNamePuns
Post puns about countries or their names here. Just make sure there clean, and don’t do too many of the same country or anything.
To celebrate her new 7 inch (17.78cm)
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
I literally need a dad joke.
My dad has type 2 diabetes, and has already had his big toe amputated. He learned today that they're going to amputate the rest of his toes. I need jokes about this to make him laugh. What I've got so far is:
Any other ones you guys can conjure up?
Friend of mine has got a new job in a chess piece factory,
he starts on nights next week.
Is this sub still active?
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Breaking News:
A 60 year old man was arrested on drug charges, and though he thought he’d get off light but the district attorney ended up slapping a bunch of other charges on top of what he had originally been charged with, which added to the fact that his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and probably incompetent, eventually led him to being handed a 40 year stint in a maximum security prison with no chance for parole, so he will probably die there.
Officials all agree that sentence was way too long.
Dolly Parton is launching a new face mask
What do you call an elf that lives in New York City?
What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
Have you guys seen this new air freshener that works on mind control?
It makes scents when you think about it.
What do you call a pig from New York?
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