I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
...talking to the wine."
My partner turned 40 today so I gave him some red, red wine and told him
UB40
Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...
For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!
I’m going to start a brand of rice wine and I’ll call it for fucks.
Oh..... for fucks sake.
My friend liked to linger in the bathtub and drink wine...
He was a soak.
This contractor knocked on my door today and convinced me to invest in wine storage
He was a stellar cellar seller
My wife took me to dinner tonight. She looked at my empty wine glass and asked if I’d like another one.
Why would I want two empty wine glasses.
My wife and I were drinking wine last night, and she looked over to me and said: “Wow... your cheeks get really red when you drink wine, it could be Rosacea.”
I looked back and her and naturally said: “...actually it’s Cab.”
I was on a date and said to the waiter “I would love the bo-log-nayz and a white wine.” Laughing my date said “I didn’t know you spoke another language.”
I replied, “yeah, I’m trylingual.”
My son asked why my friends and I had little birds on our wine glasses
I told him so I knew which one was mine. He told me they should be owls instead. “Why?” I asked “So you’d know whose whose”
So I heard about a special kind of pit today, for storing things like beer and wine...
It's called an alco-hole.
Japan And Spain Collaborate On New "Crunchy" Wine: Tempura-nillo news4sadpeople.com/post/1…
A rare child free night, a fancy restaurant. Waiter tells us the wine he's pouring has "strong tannins." I turn to my wife and tell her if the wine turns orange it's definitely a knock off...
... because of the fake tannin.
I grin, she groans and drinks more wine.
While shopping in Sam's club yesterday someone dropped a bottle of wine on the floor and it broke.
My boyfriend looked at me and said "someone's pop'n bottles n da club". He will be a great dad one day.
At my job, someone left a glass of wine outside overnight, and some flies had flown into it and died. I called it a Vino's Flytrap.
Nobody laughed :(
Roommate rummaging through the wine shelf: "dude, what's the difference between this Cabernet standard and a Cabernet reserve?"
me: "one called ahead!"
she left.
I can't wait for the new Veggietales movie. I hear it covers WW2 including Canadian Bacon, French Bread, Spanish Wine, American Roasts, British Root Veggies, and Nazi Sausages.
I'm not saying I'll watch it. But there's been wurst casting.
