They sound amazing.

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Hello all.

I tend not to post these previews on reddit due to the formatting, but seeing as the BHA aren't doing 48 hour decs, I am at a bit of a loose end. So here's a preview essay for the juvenile hurdle on Fontwell's Boxing Day card. The horse with the best chance is likely to go off the long odds-on favourite. Mercifully I am not a tipster; I write to inform rather than advise. So if you wanted the most comprehensive guide to a race most will pay little attention to, look no further.

For Monday, I plan on doing an essay for the Finale at Chepstow, the Introductory Juvenile at Kempton and, if I have the time, the Juvenile at Wetherby. Given how dense my workload will be tomorrow, I probably won't have the chance or wherewithal to post them on here. Nevertheless, my content does get posted through my twitter doo-dah.

https://twitter.com/HarchibaldS

Questions and feedback welcome either on here or through twitter. Cheers :)

######FONTWELL - 26th DECEMBER - PREVIEW

Apart from last season, a juvenile hurdle has been held at Fontwell each Boxing Day since 2013. With the winners having an average seasonal RPR of 121.36, it is generally an above average affair, although it seldom produces anything of note. 2016 winner Rainbow Dreamer would finish second in the Finesse while the next two winners, Aiguille Rouge and Westbrook Bertie, both placed in the Chatteris Fen. However, beyond a handful of horses finishing well beaten in the Fred Winter, that is the extent of the race's prowess. This year's edition is headed by a Gary Moore horse whose first two British outings have resulted in placings at Cheltenham. However, should he fail to perform then the contest would be an average one with good recent form thin on the ground. The circuit at Fontwell is a sharp, flat, left-handed one although due to the distance of juvenile contests and the propensity for the ground to get testing, the winning DIs of 1.39 mean, 1.00 median are within the lowest third of British and Irish venues. Its clear round rate of 95.05% is among the lowest in the country and drops to 90.86% for newcomers. The strike rate of odds on favourites, standing at 51.35%, is nine points below the national average, although this particular contest generally goes to one prominent in the market with the median SP being less than 2/1. The going is currently described as soft and plenty of rain is predicted before post time so although there are only six declared runners, none of whom are habi

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

He lost May