This pun is so painful maybe that's why it's on a window pane
My wife got mad at me when I spilled wine on the window
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
A man is impaled on a shard of broken window
“I can’t imagine the pane you must be going through”
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"
I thought, "I can't turn that down".
My window cleaner was banging on my window shouting and swearing!
I thought to myself: He’s lost his rag.
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What's that thing on the roof? Just a cupola windows.
We should call Ctrl + Shift + Escape shortcut on windows the "Karen shortcut"
Cause it lets you speak to Task Manager
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"
My Dad literary banged on the toilet window and shouted, "Did I scare the shit outta ya?"
Walking by a clothing store, my wife says, “I would like to try on the swimsuit in the front window.”
Me: I think you have to use the dressing room like everyone else.
Got busted almost bumping into windows on the way to work today
What do you call two thin guys hanging on your wall above a window ...
Mu friend Ken fell out of my window on the second floor the same day he had a little sister...
Watched my wife walk out on me through my window yesterday
I guess it was window pain
Saw a large green insect on my car window earlier
Must have been a glasshopper
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
My dad was complaining at all the bug guts on the car window. I said “ yea, the new windows has lots of bugs”
I hired a carpenter, but she'll only work on the walls, ceiling joists, doorframes, and windows.
Apparently floors are beneath her.
I finally have installed a mosquitos screen on the window...
But I felt the waste of effort when I found 2 mosquitos still in the room, now I will have to remove the screen to let the mosquitos out and reinstall it again
The jury decided quickly on the court case against the manufacturer of faulty windows...
It was an open and shut case
I'm going to start a company that builds houses with the best security systems on the doors and windows.
I will call it, "Sure-lock Homes".
My wife and I put plastic on the windows today.
She started tapping on it to feel how much air was being trapped and our kitten started hitting it too.
Her: dying of laughter
Me: "Why are you laughing? He's going to puncture the plastic."
Her: "Because... He's a copy cat!"
Whenever a bug splats on the window when we're driving...
"Bet he doesn't have the guts to do that again!"
Every. Single. Time.
The other day, for some reason unknown to me, I was pulled over by a local police vehicle. I rolled down my window and placed both hands on the steering wheel and waited. I noticed that the officer approaching the car was a woman...
When she got to the window I asked, "What's the problem officer?"
Her face darkened with anger and she replied, "You don't know?"
I answered, that I didn't.
She asked again, "You honestly don't know?"
I replied, "No ma'am, I have no idea."
Then she angrily replied, "Well, if you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you."
With that she turned and stomped angrily back to her car, got in, slammed the door and smoked the tires as she sped away...
What do you call two people who stand on top of a window?
What do you call a dirty window on the back side of a house?
A pane in the rear to clean.
Dad, May I try on that dress in the window?
Dad: I’m sorry, honey, you’ll have to do it in the dressing room!
"Hey dad, how hard is it to install new windows on a house?"
"I don't know [son], it depends on how well your house can run windows."
My dad just laid that gem on me.
Thanks Dad 👍
Put your hand on the window (road trip joke)
"Put your hand on the window."
Do so
"Can you feel the pain?"
"What?"
"The window pane."
I went on Tumblr for help with my Windows 10 account
They told me to check my privileges.
I got Windows 8.1 up and running on my laptop, dad.
"Oh, is it running... to catch up with my Mac?"
"No."
"Because it's so fast?"
"Stop."
My dad, everybody.
I was helping my dad (contractor) put in windows on a new home.
He asked me to keep the window upright on the ground so he could measure it. He slid the window open, crawled through it and said, "You don't understand the 'pane' I'm going through."
My girlfriend's dad on Windows 10
Dad: "Do you know why Windows jumped from 8 to 10?"
Gf: "No. Why?"
Dad: "Because 7 8 (ate) 9!"
The blind guy came to put blinds on my windows yesterday
Me: The blind guy came today
Dad: Was he wearing glasses?
Me: Yeah, how did you know?
Dad: Did he have a cane and a seeing eye dog?
Me: doh!
I saw an ad in a shop window, “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full”, I thought
“I can't turn that down.”
I sat on a window.
It was a pane in the glass.
I saw an ad in a shop window, “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full”, I thought
I saw an ad in a shop window "television for sale 1$, volume stuck on max." I thought
We were walking past a lingerie store, and my wife said, “I want to try on the bra in the front window.”
I said, “I think you might have to use the dressing room like everyone else.”
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