What does Tom Brady and a sale on corn have in common?

They're both a buck an ear (buccaneer)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justin_Herbert10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did William Shatner's lingerie company fail?

Because Shatner Panties just never caught on!

πŸ‘︎ 704
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fo_eyed_dog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the opposite of william?

Won'tiIain't.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoiabaciufan10
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
🚨︎ report
A little know fact is that J.S. Bach had a lot of grandchildren and they all loved American football...

Of course, they were all a quarter bach....

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
🚨︎ report
William Shakespeare walks in to a bar...

The barman says, 'Sorry mate, you're bard'.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wookiewithabrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2021
🚨︎ report
In honor of former president Donald J. Trump

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 31k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Handleton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I once wrote a joke without using the letters J and E!

It was OK

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vshesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My Dad just woke me this morning to ask if I heard about William Shatner

Dad: Did you hear that William Shatner is going to space?

Me: Yeah, Jeff Bezos is sending him up

Dad: He's 90-Years old. The G-Forces alone pose a huge health risk

Me: I guess it's getting easier and easier to put people into space

Dad: If they're not careful, they'll turn him into William Shattered

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaFluxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I see William Shatner has just come back from a trip into space…

When asked about his trip William said β€œIt was out of this world”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2021
🚨︎ report
William Shatner had to go into space on Blue Origin instead of SpaceX

He's obligated to follow the Amazon Prime Directive

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaleoGamer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
While making my kid a PB&J.

He brings me an apple, wife says β€œyou’re getting a sandwich sweetie.” With out skipping a beat. I tell her, β€œhe wants an appletizer” as I begin to cut it for him.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenaciousdewolfe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,

we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 598
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PavilionFlux
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Jack the Ripper, Catherine the Great, William the Conqueror, and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrakenJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams & Bruno Mars met in a bar...

But they didn't planet that way.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ixz72
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Robin Williams drink at the Aladdin premiere back in '92?

A djinn and tonic!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirAnalog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw Michael J. Fox at my local garden center.

I’m not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zu-den-sternen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What Olympic event did William Shakespeare excel at?

Iambic pentathlon

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caverypca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to read pirated editions of J.R.R. Tolkien.

It was a bad Hobbit.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThusSpokeGaba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Went to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and the waiter kept correcting the way i said the dishes.

After i finished eating, trying not to be outdone, i asked for the william.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blakut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Saying Tom Brady is the greatest football player in history isn’t just a hyperbole...

It’s a superbole.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Watching the Superbowl and they mentioned Brady has a good arm.

Bet he could really throw a Tom ato

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theoldraven
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was William fired as an bartender?

Because William Shakesbeer

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simon_lorey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Worked for Williams Well Drilling for 22 years, but.....

I finally quit that hole-boring business.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSEiGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Who is William DeFoe’s arch enemy?

William DeFriend

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_sobe87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Little known fact: William Tell and his wife were really good bowlers.

Nobody knows for whom the Tells bowled.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
J.Cole’s son
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DUD3239
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.

We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.

πŸ‘︎ 443
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.

The dirty bastard.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...

Apparently, nobody was interested in buying β€˜Shatner Panties’.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I was very disappointed to find that the movie β€œDunkirk” was a World War II movie…

And not the biography of William Shatner

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rgapinski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalingus03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I dropped my PB&J sandwich on the street the other day.

T'was a traffic jam.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punchedbyafalcon
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Vanessa Williams got robbed the other day?

They need to stop Robin Williams

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emobatmanforever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"

Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

But they didn't planet.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

But they didn’t planet.

πŸ‘︎ 578
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know William Tell and his wife were bowlers?

Noone knows for whom the Tell's bowled.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.

I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar

But they didn't planet

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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