What does Tom Brady and a sale on corn have in common?
They're both a buck an ear (buccaneer)
Why did William Shatner's lingerie company fail?
Because Shatner Panties just never caught on!
What's the opposite of william?
A little know fact is that J.S. Bach had a lot of grandchildren and they all loved American football...
Of course, they were all a quarter bach....
William Shakespeare walks in to a bar...
The barman says, 'Sorry mate, you're bard'.
In honor of former president Donald J. Trump
I once wrote a joke without using the letters J and E!
My Dad just woke me this morning to ask if I heard about William Shatner
Dad: Did you hear that William Shatner is going to space?
Me: Yeah, Jeff Bezos is sending him up
Dad: He's 90-Years old. The G-Forces alone pose a huge health risk
Me: I guess it's getting easier and easier to put people into space
Dad: If they're not careful, they'll turn him into William Shattered
I see William Shatner has just come back from a trip into space…
When asked about his trip William said “It was out of this world”.
William Shatner had to go into space on Blue Origin instead of SpaceX
He's obligated to follow the Amazon Prime Directive
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
While making my kid a PB&J.
He brings me an apple, wife says “you’re getting a sandwich sweetie.” With out skipping a beat. I tell her, “he wants an appletizer” as I begin to cut it for him.
Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
What do Jack the Ripper, Catherine the Great, William the Conqueror, and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams & Bruno Mars met in a bar...
But they didn't planet that way.
What did Robin Williams drink at the Aladdin premiere back in '92?
I thought I saw Michael J. Fox at my local garden center.
I’m not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias.
What Olympic event did William Shakespeare excel at?
I used to read pirated editions of J.R.R. Tolkien.
Went to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and the waiter kept correcting the way i said the dishes.
After i finished eating, trying not to be outdone, i asked for the william.
Saying Tom Brady is the greatest football player in history isn’t just a hyperbole...
Watching the Superbowl and they mentioned Brady has a good arm.
Bet he could really throw a Tom ato
Why was William fired as an bartender?
Because William Shakesbeer
Worked for Williams Well Drilling for 22 years, but.....
I finally quit that hole-boring business.
Who is William DeFoe’s arch enemy?
Little known fact: William Tell and his wife were really good bowlers.
Nobody knows for whom the Tells bowled.
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
I was very disappointed to find that the movie “Dunkirk” was a World War II movie…
And not the biography of William Shatner
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
I dropped my PB&J sandwich on the street the other day.
Did you hear that Vanessa Williams got robbed the other day?
They need to stop Robin Williams
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
Did you know William Tell and his wife were bowlers?
Noone knows for whom the Tell's bowled.
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.
I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar
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