Wife Birthday Puns

So I stomped across the house and asked her again.

The next morning she saw me loading it into the back of my car.

She rushed out to the driveway and shouted "Hey! Where do you think you are you going?!"

I said, "I'm taking him back, honey."

"Taking him back!" she yelled. "Why?"

I said, "It's not your birthday any more."

So I got her a magazine rack.

So I walked around the room and asked again

I told her I appreciate the sediment.

I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

She’s super supportive of my love for racquetball.

She's in for a rude awakening.

She said: "What the hell are these?"

I said: "It's the little things that count"

So I bought her nothing.

When the big day came around she said, "Well, where's my present then?"

I said, "By the river, as you asked."

So I got her a frog.

Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

She always goes crazy over nothing

I responded, "Actually they're full size."

So, I got her nothing.

That she wanted him to take her somewhere expensive.

So he took her to the local gas station.

“You know, one would have been enough.”

"I think we can swing that" Proudest dad joke yet as it flowed so naturally

But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.

She was blown away

I didn't get her the bottoms, simply the vest.

This changes everything

That’s ridiculous, I didn’t even know it was her birthday

She was over the moon

But this wasn’t the case

What a revolting response to a gift. I was stunned.

She never saw it coming!

Edit: I changed the title and still has a typo -.-`

Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

“Oh, I dont know,” she said . “Just give me something with diamonds.”

Thats why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

After all it is her thirty second birthday

It was the fastest birthday party we’ve ever had.

Rick Astley: No.

It was a sweet gesture, but I already reddit.

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow and she keeps leaving Jewelry Catalogues all over the house.

So I bought her a magazine rack.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it

So I bought her nothing.

She said March 1st. So I walked around the room and asked again.

But I got her a card-again

I said you know how to make me cooler

It’s the little things that count.

So, I've taken the hint...

I got her a magazine rack!

She said, “What the hell are these?”

I said, “It’s the little things that count.”

She's over the moon.

But every time I bring it up, she smoothly changes the topic.