"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
The nurse says, "I am sorry sir your Dad is pronounced dead.
The man says, " I can't believe I have been pronouncing it wrong the whole time.
On my desk, I have a work station.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
Bi-yourself.
You mean Mary Pop-puns?
Washington DC.
Japan.
If you have to force it, its probably just crap anyways.
Legend dairy
They store it in dad-a-base.
She said try the non-friction section.
....and the other person is the husband.
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
I told her she should thank all the women that came before her.
Strange...usually Australians boo meringue
At the bottom!
In the master bedroom
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
To which they answered “yes” “oui” “si” “ja”.
Then it dawned on me
The lumbar yard
there’s plenty more Phish in the (C:)
I guess you can say the bus ride was on the house.
Son: K. Pop
It turned into a demolition derby because there can only be one.
Where you have to tell your children not to say the "S"-word.
I said, "Sure, why not?"
Dough nation.
From the Arrrmory
Every time I ask someone, they tell me "it's private."
Capital of Ireland
It's Dublin everyday
Herculease.
A BP station
It's called water Bordeaux-ing.
In a dad-a-base
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
