I hate it .when people post lyrics from songs.
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︎ Jun 17 2021
What is every dadβs least favorite country music song?
Every Light In The House (IS ON!)
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Did you know that Mortal Kombat is based on a Scandinavian church song?
More precisely, a Finnish Hymn.
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︎ Jun 29 2021
Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
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︎ May 11 2021
My Dad is hopelessly addicted to going to different hardware stores every weekend.
Every Saturday, I see him hitting new Loweβs.
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︎ May 25 2021
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow Iβm returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
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︎ May 29 2021
My Dad: Did you know that Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
Me: Wait, what? Really?
Dad: Yeah, a Finnish Hymn.
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︎ May 28 2021
When did Paul McCartney write βSilly Love Songsβ?
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︎ May 24 2021
Remember back in the day when Reddit didnβt crash every 30 minutes?
π︎ 5
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︎ May 25 2021
My favorite song is called βAnvilβ.
Itβs in the key of B-Flat
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︎ Jun 20 2021
When you think you see someone who's name is Will
π︎ 82
π
︎ Jun 19 2021
How do you know when a vampire is sick?
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︎ Jun 22 2021
Don't you hate it when a cranberries song gets stuck in your head
In your head in your heeeaaad
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︎ Mar 19 2021
How do you know every tree over the age of two is not a robot?
They pass the two ring test
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︎ Jun 19 2021
Why was the church song leader so happy when a member of her congregation was killed in a car accident?
The deceased was an organ donor.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Who is every scientistβs favourite actor?
π︎ 23
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︎ May 31 2021
What song do you sing when you step on ants?
Dead ant, dead ant. Dead ant dead ant dead ant, dead ant dead annnnttt, dead-ant-dead-ant-dead-ant
(Tune of Pink panther theme)
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︎ Apr 10 2021
One time I sung the beginning of the βFriendsβ theme song in the middle of class,
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 21 2019
I can always tell when someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can tell when they're standing too.
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︎ Jun 12 2021
Do you know when a sheep is born ?
π︎ 33
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︎ Jun 29 2021
Do you know what I do when my playstation is sad?
π︎ 69
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︎ Jun 15 2021
My neighbor is stalking me by looking me up on Google and checking my social media every hour
I saw it through my telescope last night
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︎ May 02 2021
Why is leather the best clothing to wear when breaking into a house?
Because it is made out of hide.
π︎ 18
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︎ Jul 01 2021
My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?
You Dont Know How It Peels
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︎ Apr 02 2021
When is a sailor a piece of wood?
π︎ 34
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︎ Jun 22 2021
My daughter is thinking of becoming a mirror polisher when she leaves school.
It's something she can see herself doing.
π︎ 20
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︎ Jun 25 2021
What is something both a lawyer and a gamer say every day?
π︎ 7
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︎ May 23 2021
I'm a big hit every year at Christmas when I tell the Usain Bolt joke.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 28 2021
When is National Alzheimerβs Day?
π︎ 5
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︎ May 31 2021
When is a door not a door?
π︎ 29
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︎ Jun 17 2021
Itβs Fatherβs Day and my 6 year old got me a gift. She asked me βDaddy, when is it present time?β
I said itβs always present time
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︎ Jun 20 2021
What do you say to a plant biologist when you notice something is off with them?
Whatβs stomata with you?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 24 2021
When is the best time to book a root canal appointment?
π︎ 20
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︎ Jul 01 2021
Man... Every single post here is about the Suez Canal...
People must be stuck in it
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︎ Mar 28 2021
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
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︎ Jun 30 2021
When is a joke a dad joke?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 23 2021
What does a mom say to her kids when she realizes she is actually a man?
Now kids, I just want to be transparent with you...
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︎ Jun 27 2021
What is it called when someone helps kill someones sister?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 03 2021
Doctor, Doctor, every time I take a picture of myself, the bottom of the picture is always foggy. Itβs making me really fed up.
Thatβs because you have low selfie steam.
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︎ May 03 2021
What is it called when Matt Damon goes thrift shopping?
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︎ Jun 08 2021
Every time my dad stubs his toe we hear this sung from the other side of the house.
I fought the wall, and the wall won."
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︎ Jan 19 2014
Mortal Kombat is based on a song.
π︎ 33
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︎ May 26 2021
Did you know Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
Itβs called a βFinnish Hymnβ.
π︎ 50
π
︎ May 28 2021
Did you know that Mortal Combat is based off of a Scandinavian church song?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 31 2021
When is a door not a door?
π︎ 23
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︎ Jun 16 2021
When is the best time to go to the dentist?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 28 2021
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